Run to Me
by DanaBenson
Summary: You think you know Hunter and McCall. A Hunter fic that asks the question What if. . . ? A shocking twist takes this story to previously uncharted territory for Hunter and McCall.
1. Chapter 1

**Run to Me**

Summary: So, you think you know Hunter and McCall? Let's start at the beginning. My beginning. My name is Rick Hunter.

Disclaimer: SJC has left them alone for so long that I feel free to take them and do with them what I will. Even though they are still his. _sigh_

Author's Note: I guess this will have to be classified as Alternate Universe, but I do use established characters. This is a story that asks "What if…."

Prologue

(I'm mad.)

(Scratch that,) I thought with a mental shake of my head, (I'm way past mad.) My hands clenched tighter on the steering wheel as I contemplated my current state of mind and tried to come up with an accurate description. Driving down the interstate, heading back to Los Angeles, I figured "mad" was probably 2 or 3 hours ago. Now I am hell and gone past "mad".

Angry?

Livid?

Furious?

Enraged?

I tried each of the adjectives on for size and didn't really feel like any of them was quite right. This was different. Oh, I had been plenty angry in the past and at plenty of different people. But never in my career had I been this angry at this particular person.

My partner.

As I raced back home, I felt tendrils of fear creep through my veins and taint the rage, diluting it and making me feel even worse. The anger, not just at my partner, had been keeping my fear at bay, but the closer I got to L.A., the more afraid I became. Afraid that I wasn't going to make it in time; that I was going to be too late.

Too late to save my partner.

And then I was going to be left with despair.

Fear and despair.

Two emotions I had never really had to cope with before – I was wandering in uncharted territory here and I didn't like it. Not one little bit. As a cop, I liked to think that I inspired fear in the creeps I went after and took away the despair families felt when I put whoever had devastated their lives behind bars. I'm not supposed to be feeling this myself.

I pressed a little harder on the accelerator when I crossed the city limits and slapped the cherry light on the roof.

Chapter 1

For the past two weeks, I had been on loan to a small coastal community at the request of my Captain. Mike Stewart was a new sheriff in town and he had requested someone with experience back him up while he got settled and also to cover the two officers that were out on extended medical leave.

Since McCall was currently involved in testifying on a murder case, I was chosen to go. Truth be told, I really hadn't minded. It was a nice change of pace, there was time for fishing and Mrs. Pinelli, the owner of the local diner kept me fed with homemade creations that rivaled my mother's. Plus, McCall and I hadn't seen much of each other outside of work for the past couple of months or more and I was getting bored trying to entertain myself. The past two dates I'd gone on had been disasters and I was feeling a little gun shy to say the least.

It was one o'clock in the afternoon and I was just about to head out to patrol the usually quiet streets, when I got the call from my partner, in a tone of voice that made my blood run cold.

"Get to the safe house."

I sat up straight in my chair so suddenly, my coffee sloshed across the report that I had just signed.

"Shit! McCall! What are you – "

"There's no time, Hunter. Get to the safe house. Lloyd Perry is here with me." There was a brief pause and I used the two seconds to try and catch my breath. "He was going to walk, Hunter. I couldn't let that happen."

I was nearly speechless with horror, overwhelmed with a flood of questions, but McCall never gave me a chance.

"I set a trap for Lloyd, but he had already set one for me. This is my one phone call. Lloyd wanted me to call you so he can gloat." McCall's voice was flat, completely devoid of any emotion, almost resigned.

"McCall – wait – what – " I had a death grip on the phone, frantic and feeling more helpless than I ever had in my entire life. There was so much I needed to say – to ask. And as McCall had said; there was no time. I could hear a brief struggle, a grunt of pain and then a new voice came over the phone line.

"Hello, Hunter – remember me? It's Lloyd."

I was on my feet without even thinking. "Lloyd – don't you – " I think I was about to start begging.

He cut me off. "Shut up, Hunter! Me and McCall are gonna have a little talk about how wrong it was to try and send me to jail. Maybe if you get here in time, you can join us and I'll be happy to make sure you understand as well." He paused to make sure I knew what he was insinuating.

I did. Believe me, I did. Lloyd Perry was on trial for the sadistic murders of two of his "associates". I knew exactly what he was capable of.

"Oh, and I don't know where this 'safe house' is yet, but you can bet you'll never be safe from Lloyd Perry. I'll find you, and you can take that to your grave. Good-bye, Sgt."

Suddenly I was holding a receiver and the line was dead.

(Oh, God!)

It took me a second to try and figure out what to do first. I decided to call the Captain and explained what I could. He promised to send out units to McCall's house and call Mike to let him know why I was not coming back.

Chapter 2

When I arrived at McCall's house there must have been 10 squad cars, an ambulance and 3 vans from the media. A helicopter was circling overhead. I had to park 6 houses down and with my heart in my throat I made my way in. A feeling of numbness was beginning to take hold. I could see the yellow crime scene tape. There was a roaring in my ears as I stepped closer. The Captain met me before I could even get close, both hands to my chest to halt my progress.

"Hunter, wait."

I looked at him. It took only a fraction of a second to learn everything I needed to know and already suspected but refused to accept. I shook my head. "McCall – "

"McCall's dead, Hunter. I'm sorry." The Captain's eyes reflected my own grief and rage.

"My partner," I mumbled, reaching up to pull his hands away from me, so I could go and see.

Three guys in uniform banded together to prevent me from going, even as the Captain grabbed my arm and pulled me back.

"Hunter, no. I'm telling you, I'm not letting you go in that house. Steve is dead. I'm sorry, Hunter, but he's gone and there is nothing for you to see in there. I'm not letting you go in there."

I gaped at him, open-mouthed, eyes wide.

Steve McCall

My partner

Dead

Shock was threatening to send me rampaging like a bull elephant when I remembered the first thing McCall said to me when he called. "Get to the safe house."

Without hesitation, I jerked away from the Captain and took off running in the opposite direction: to my car. I could hear surprised shouts behind me, but I never looked back. There was no way I could let them know where I was going and why.

I had to get to the safe house. I had to get to DeeDee.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 3

When I finally arrived at the safe house, I closed my eyes and breathed a huge sigh of relief. On the whole drive up here, I had worked myself up to a near frenzy. I guess I had partially expected to find it demolished, or blown up or something equally cataclysmic. I was terrified that Perry had gotten Steve to divulge the location, but I should have known with DeeDee's life on the line, it wasn't likely.

There didn't seem to be anything amiss.

The house, a one-story A-frame, was just sitting there, shuttered windows intact, navy blue curtains throughout were closed; the whole place looked like a picture in some magazine. Even the lawn – green grass recently mowed and looking like a small oasis surrounded by towering California redwoods.

I felt my jaw clench as I took in the fresh coat of paint and several, obviously newer shingles on the roof. It was quite apparent that Steve had been planning this for some time, probably as soon as he learned Perry's court date. He must have suspected the state's case was shaky, even though we all knew he was guilty as hell.

Looking back, I saw the signs I hadn't paid attention to before. We hadn't been getting together on our weekends off; those weeks before the trial and before I had left for my temporary assignment he had seemed distracted and out of sorts. And then there was the time I called and DeeDee had said that he was at a home improvement store.

"Redecorating the kitchen?" I had asked, only half serious and not particularly interested.

I remembered DeeDee had paused before answering. "No."

Maybe she thought that I was in the know – that I was helping Steve set his little trap. Or did she really know what her husband was doing at all? I didn't push her at the time. Maybe I should have.

"Rick, are you going to tell me what's going on, or should I report this as a kidnapping?"

I jerked my head over. My cousin Linda was sitting next to me, arms crossed over her chest, her blue eyes flashing.

"Come on, Rick. I've been quiet the whole way up here – you're obviously upset about something; you keep looking back like you expect someone to be following us. Tell me what's going on. I think I deserve an explanation for letting you bring me up here – in my own car, I might add, and when I'm supposed to be working." She jabbed a finger at my shoulder. "You better hope that note you left in my office takes care of this."

My hands came up in what I hoped was an appeasing gesture. "Let's go," I said, climbing out of Linda's Jeep on shaky legs. "Someone needs our help."

I heard Linda sigh as she followed me. "Yeah, I kinda figured that part out, but would you mind filling me in on what kind of help. I mean, I'm pretty sure you brought me for my medical skills, since we never see each other except at family reunions."

I winced at her tone, knowing she was right. I had brought Linda out here to handle something I still wasn't quite ready or, in any real way, capable of dealing with on my own.

"Yeah, I need your help – professional help. The lady in here – is – was my partner's wife. Steve was killed a few hours ago." I huffed, trying to keep my voice steady. Articulating Steve's death sent a chill through my heart. "I'm pretty sure she doesn't know."

Linda stared at me, her head cocked to one side and her expression one of disbelief. "Well, I still don't see where I fit in. I'm not a grief counselor. Why don't you just take her back to L.A.?"

I gripped both of her arms and bent my knees only slightly so that we were face to face. "Don't you see – she's not safe. Not until we get the guy behind Steve's death! He's threatened her and me."

"What I don't see is what I'm doing up here. Am I the only doctor you know, personally?"

"No, " I said quietly, my gaze dropping to the ground. "You're the only doctor I know personally, that takes care of women."

Linda's mouth dropped open.

I sighed and let my hands hang. "She's pregnant. And if my memory serves me right, she's just about due."

Chapter 4

There was no reaction on Linda's part for several beats. "You want to run that by me again," she finally said.

"I haven't seen her in a couple of months," I mumbled, "but I'm pretty sure it's almost time."

"Then what in the hell are we doing four hours from the nearest hospital?" This isn't an episode from Marcus Welby! This is the 80's! We've got modern technology! If I wanted to practice frontier medicine I would have hauled myself out to some Third World country!"

My mouth opened but she never gave me a chance.

"Jesus – Rick – you didn't tell me that we weren't going back home! You didn't let me pack – hell – you didn't pack!"

I couldn't even look at her and she was getting more worked up by the minute. "There was no time! It's not safe, Linda. You don't know what kind of man this Lloyd Perry is. He's ruthless and I have no idea if he knows about this place or not."

She took a deep breath, trying to calm herself, I hoped, before speaking again. "Fine. Then we won't go back to L.A. – we can head in the opposite direction. I don't know anything about this woman, what her prenatal course has been, what care she's had or not – what tests she's had and what those results might be. She could be high-risk for all we know. You say it's not safe to go home – well, I can assure you that it's not safe out here if I don't know anything about her."

I nodded in understanding. "Okay – but first let's just go in and see how she is." I hoped it wasn't too obvious how much I dreaded facing DeeDee McCall and having to tell her that her husband of less than two years was dead. I had never lost a partner before and too many to count notifications to families, that loved ones had been lost, hadn't made any of this any easier. My mouth felt desert dry, my hands were sweating and my heart was hammering so hard in my chest everything was a little blurry. I guess Linda picked up on it, because she took my hand and led me to the door.

There was no answer after several soft, then progressively harder knocks. I tried calling out to her, but the door remained closed. I jangled the keys in my hand, trying to remember which one was for the house. Hell, I hadn't been out here but twice and the last time was at least 8 months ago.

The safe house had been all Steve's idea. He was married, he was a homicide detective in L.A. and he wanted to know that he could protect his wife if need be. He told me that not even DeeDee knew about the place, about four hours outside the city limits in the hills. I shrugged my shoulders at the time and basically said sure – what the hell, right?

Personally, I would have used the place as a mini vacation spot, but Steve was adamant, insisting that we never use it except for emergencies. I wonder now, if he knew something that I didn't.

Because this looked like a bona fide emergency to me and I never saw it coming. Steve had somehow gotten DeeDee up here, with their baby probably due any day now, and left her alone, intending to take care of Lloyd Perry once and for all. Instead, Steve is dead and I'm the only person who knows where his pregnant wife is. He must have really thought his plan was foolproof to have left her with no phone and no car. I had to tamp down my anger at being kept out of the loop and subsequently leaving DeeDee in such a vulnerable position.

Every second that the door didn't open was another second for my heart rate to increase and my mind to conjure up a reason that she didn't answer.

Finally I located the right key and quickly opened the door. I cautiously poked my head in and looked all around. Everything looked neat and tidy. No dishes lying about, no papers, no books. One of the two table lamps was turned on. The house had electricity from a generator, but no TV reception. A small radio was on the side table. With my gun in my right hand, I motioned with my left for Linda to stay behind me as I stepped inside.

My senses were on high alert as I moved towards the bedroom. I paused to glance over at the kitchen. The lights were off and the dining room was dark as well. When I got to the hall, I could see that the back bedroom light was on. I heard a small moan.

Throwing caution to the wind, I holstered my gun and ran towards the sound. I burst through the door that was partially ajar and skidded to a stop at the sight before me. DeeDee was sitting in a rocking chair, both hands on the armrests, her head dipped low and her shoulders hunched over her swollen belly. She was dressed in loose fitting maternity pants and a blouse that accented the roundness of her pregnancy and I could hear her breathing, deep and a little ragged. I couldn't help but gape.

"DeeDee?"

She didn't look up. She seemed to be in a trance or deeply focused. Linda stayed behind me, but I could see her assessing her patient. For a moment, nobody moved and then DeeDee seemed to relax, her breathing seemed easier and her hands moved to caress her belly.

She turned her head and fixed me with eyes that were full of pain. "Steve's dead, isn't he?" Her voice had an odd cadence to it and I couldn't tell if she was asking or telling me.

Chapter 5

I felt her words and her eyes like a physical blow to my own stomach. Unable to speak, I simply nodded. She stared at me for a moment and then turned away to stare out the window, but I did catch the tears in her eyes that were starting to fall. I guess she must have known something was going on with Steve, but it didn't look like we'd be discussing it anytime soon.

I knew I had said she was due to deliver soon, but to see the size of her, knowing she was tiny to start with, was a shock. Her belly had expanded to a size I wouldn't have thought possible and oh, I how I wished I had kept in contact with her.

Linda stepped around me and moved to kneel at DeeDee's side. "Hello, Mrs. McCall, my name is Dr. Linda Walsh. I'm Rick's cousin. He asked me to come here to see if you needed some help."

DeeDee bit her bottom lip, struggling not to cry, unable to look up.

Tentatively, Linda reached out to place her hand on DeeDee's. "When did your water break?"

I was about to ask how in the hell she knew that, when I spotted a wet towel at DeeDee's feet. (Oh, shit,) I thought. I wondered how much time we had until she delivered and if we were going to make it to a hospital, or were we going to be doing this sans hospital.

DeeDee let her head fall back, as she took another deep breath. "I don't know what time it was. I haven't been able to wear my watch, because I have a lot of swelling and there's no clock here. A while, I guess." She paused to look around the room. "Steve obviously put a lot of thought into this place – how could he forget a clock?"

I started to wonder if she was in some kind of shock – why was she worried about a clock?

I could see she was about to say more when suddenly, she grimaced and resumed her death grip on the armrests.

"Start timing, Rick," Linda ordered me. "She's having contractions and I need to know how long they are and how long in between."

With a glance at my watch, I fumbled for my pad and pen as I listened to Linda coach DeeDee through the obviously agonizing pain. I couldn't believe this was happening. It wasn't supposed to be this way. Steve was supposed to be with her, not me. I should be at home, or at work, anywhere but out in the middle of nowhere watching my dead partner's wife give birth to their child.

I listened to Linda talk DeeDee through it, encouraging her quietly until finally DeeDee let out a long, shaky sigh.

"Rick, can you go get my bag, please. Mrs. McCall – "

"Just call me DeeDee."

"Tell me about the contractions."

"They don't seem very regular. I just had two, but before it had been quite some time."

Quickly, I stepped outside, my mind in turmoil.

I got the feeling that Linda wanted some privacy, which was fine by me. This was starting to turn into something very personal and go to a level of intimacy that I was unprepared for and not especially comfortable with. I mean, I'd never even seen the woman in a bathing suit and now all this!

I couldn't understand what in God's name Steve had been thinking. Mostly, I was angry that he had not let me help with Lloyd Perry. I guess I was supposed to be the backup, but I was his partner, damn it! I should have been with him, not hiding in the background.

I stepped outside and paused to take a few deep breaths.

(Get a grip,) I told myself brusquely. (Just make sure you keep DeeDee and her baby safe. Finish what Steve couldn't.)


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 6

I shook my head ruefully at the mental pep talk and retrieved Linda's heavy medical case, wondering just what all she had in there. And of course, then I realized that I was probably about to find out.

Taking the time to knock before re-entering the room, wanting to make sure that I didn't barge in if they weren't ready, I still hesitated.

Linda called me in, though, so I bucked up and stepped inside. I was surprised to see her sitting on the bed, alone.

"Where's DeeDee?"

"Bathroom," she answered with a nod.

"Is – uh – everything okay?" I wasn't exactly sure how to phrase my question.

"Well, she's two centimeters dilated."

(She says like I should just automatically know what the hell a centimeter is,) I thought, exasperated.

"What does that mean?" My voice sounded harsh even to my own ears, so I tried to take it down a notch. "Is a two good or bad?"

"It means that we have time to get her to a hospital."

"Hold on," I said with a start. "I already told you – it's not safe out there. I have no idea where Lloyd Perry is – "

"Look, Rick," Linda cut me off. "I already told you – we don't have to go to L.A. But delivering out here is not in DeeDee's best interest. Or the baby's. She's at a two, the baby hasn't dropped down far enough – it could be hours! And, she's – " Linda verbally stumbled and broke off.

"Wait a minute," I said, holding up a hand. I stared hard at Linda, trying to get a read on her. "And she's what? What aren't you telling me?"

Linda sighed heavily. "Settle down, dear cousin. The additional risk factor is the size of the baby versus DeeDee. I don't know if you noticed, but she's small and the baby is full-term and obviously a pretty good size. DeeDee's taken good care of herself – it look's like it's mostly baby at this point, but the need for a C-section is a definite consideration.

I felt my heart sink down to my feet. A C-section? Surgery?

"That's what my doctor said."

Linda and I both jerked our gazes over to see DeeDee standing in the doorway, her hands at the small of her back to balance the weight of her belly pulling her forward.

Instantly, I moved over to her and reached for her arm, intending to help her to the bed. I took a moment to get a really good look at her.

DeeDee noticed my scrutiny. "I'm starting to think the baby might outweigh me soon, " she said with a sad smile.

"I'm sorry, DeeDee. For everything. I honestly had no idea what was going on."

I really felt like I should apologize, I should have seen the signs earlier; I should have done something to prevent this. Whether the guilt I was experiencing was warranted or not, it was weighing heavily on my mind and on my shoulders.

DeeDee gave my hand a squeeze. "I know you didn't, Rick. Please, please don't blame yourself. Steve admitted everything on the way out here. I cried, I begged, I pleaded, but he –" She abruptly broke off, using her free hand to cover her face and hide her tears. "Oh, God, I just can't believe he's really gone!" She cried. "What am I going to do without him? The baby – "

Before I could say anything, she suddenly sank down to the floor, sobbing. Instinctively, I reached out to support her, controlling her descent and then knelt down next to her, awkwardly putting my arm around her shoulder to pull her close. DeeDee tilted her head onto my shoulder and continued to cry softly. I glanced up at Linda for help.

"Let her get it out," she mouthed at me silently.

I nodded once in understanding, my own heart breaking.

Without warning, another contraction hit. DeeDee groaned, ducking her head as she attempted to get her breathing under control.

"I – I need to get up – I need to –" She gasped as the pain peaked.

Relieved that I could do something to help, I positioned myself in front of her, grasped her forearms and eased her to a standing position. Linda got behind and murmured words of encouragement. DeeDee clutched both my arms firmly. I could feel the incredible size of her belly, snug between us. She pulled her arms away in order to put her hands up on my shoulders, hanging her head down and panting slightly.

I barely listened to Linda and with her eyes closed; I couldn't tell if DeeDee was truly hearing her either. My eyes were drawn again to DeeDee's large, round belly and my hands followed: tentatively, hesitantly, and using only my fingertips, I touched her.

I was awed. I could feel the tightness of the contraction through the thin material of her blouse and then the contraction was over. I felt it end.

And it hit me. Really hit me. DeeDee was going to have a baby. A baby was going to enter this world and there wasn't anything I could do to delay or stop or affect the process in any way. A new life to replace its murdered father, and I wondered if it was a boy or a girl?

I was pulled from my thoughts by the sight of DeeDee staring up at me; her brown eyes wide open and filled with tears. I stared back at her and froze at what I saw in those luminous brown orbs.

Fear

Pain

Sorrow

Anger

Desperation

I could see the emotions and I could feel them and it took my breath away. She blinked the tears away, but kept her focus on me.

"Help me, Rick. I don't want to lose my baby. I already lost Steve, I can't lose my baby, too. Help me, help us – please." She pleaded.

My chest was tight. I couldn't breathe. Looking down at her and feeling the full force of her words, the sheer magnitude of the responsibility being given to me overwhelmed me. And in that instant, I realized that this was what Steve had wanted. Take care of DeeDee and take care of his baby. I didn't know if I could, but I knew right then and there that whatever it took, whatever it meant, I would do it.

I reached up and took her face in my hands. "You're going to be okay, DeeDee. I'm right here and Linda and I are going make sure you and the baby get through this." I felt the enormous weight of my promise and felt as afraid as I ever had in my life, but when I saw the ray of hope shine in DeeDee's eyes, it didn't matter. Only DeeDee and the baby. That was my focus - my mission and I intended to see it through.

Chapter 7

We all stood frozen; no one exactly sure what to do or say.

(Enough of this,) I thought suddenly. Steve was dead, there was nothing I could do to bring him back and I needed to focus on DeeDee and her baby. Grieving was a luxury I could not afford right now.

"All right," I said brusquely. "Let's go – let's get out of here."

The relief was evident on Linda's face as she gathered her bag and a pillow and blanket for DeeDee.

"My suitcase –" DeeDee said, pointing to a dark blue carry-on in the corner.

"I got it," Linda announced, veering over to pick it up.

I kept one arm around DeeDee and we started out to the jeep. Linda had hurried ahead and had the back door open, laying the pillow across the opposite door. Another contraction hit just as I was helping DeeDee in. She stopped abruptly and reached a hand out to the door and used her other to clutch at her belly as the pain took over.

I put my hands on her shoulders as a gesture of support, but she shrugged them off with a grunt of pain. Linda immediately moved in with a quiet voice and soothing words that DeeDee seemed to respond to.

I was desperate to help and her rejection sent a stab of pain through me, as I shuffled my feet, feeling helpless and out of place. I didn't have the first clue what to do or say and I could feel my frustration building. Then I reminded myself that it wasn't like I'd ever been to any child birthing classes and that was the whole reason that I had brought Linda here in the first place.

I saw that the contraction must be over as DeeDee pulled herself to a standing position and took a deep breath. Without thinking, I started to reach out my hand, but then when I realized what I was doing, I quickly jerked it away. Linda saw me and encouraged me with her eyes.

Struggling against my fear of rejection, I tentatively moved closer. DeeDee eased my fears by taking my hand and giving it a gentle squeeze. "I'm sorry," she said softly, and suddenly a wave of guilt washed over me. With everything she was going through, with all that she had lost and could still lose, she was trying to comfort me!

Quickly I shook my head. "Don't apologize. You don't have anything to be sorry about. Just tell me what I can do, okay?"

DeeDee crooked her finger at me and I leaned in, thinking she had something to whisper. She surprised my by chastely kissing my cheek.

"Just be here, okay?"

Without waiting for an answer, she turned and got in the jeep unassisted. I simply gaped.

Finally, Linda nudged me out of my reverie. "Come on, Rick – time to get a move on. You want to drive or should I?"

"I'll drive – you take care of DeeDee. You can't coach her through the contractions and drive at the same time."

Linda nodded and moved in to settle herself and DeeDee for the trip. I walked around to the driver's side, feeling one hand drift up to touch the spot that DeeDee had kissed just moments ago. I felt a flush of warmth go through me and smiled.

I backed up down the long dirt driveway. At the end, I had a decision to make. Go right and head back the way we came and end up on the highway headed towards L.A. Go left and we'd be headed south, towards San Diego. It was a no-brainer. San Diego it was.

We hadn't gone a mile, when I heard a soft moan from DeeDee. I was just about to turn my head to see what was wrong, when Linda ordered me to stop the car. I hit the brakes and as soon as the jeep stopped, the back door flew open and DeeDee and Linda piled out. With one hand covering her mouth, DeeDee took one step then dropped to the ground, retching. Linda pulled out some tissues and waited for DeeDee to finish, as I hovered anxiously behind them. Finally it was over and DeeDee sat back and gratefully accepted the tissues as Linda brushed DeeDee's hair back.

"Are you gonna be okay?" I asked after they were both back in the jeep. I peered back at them, wanting reassurance before I drove off.

DeeDee nodded and sank back on the pillow, obviously exhausted. Linda nodded, too, and I put the car in drive, more anxious than ever to get to someplace where I could get help. I rounded a corner and picked up speed on a down hill slope.

There was no sign. No warning. Immediately ahead the bridge over a rain-swollen creek bed was out. I slammed on the brakes and prayed for a miracle.

"Hang on!" Was all I could get out as I jerked on the steering wheel and the jeep battled for traction and failed miserably. The only thing that kept us out of the water was the huge trees on the sides of the road and the impact caved in the front passenger section with a bone-jarring crash.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 8

After several minutes of stunned silence, I was finally able to think coherently. I felt fuzzy and I had to take deep breaths to try and clear away the mental cobwebs. A quick mental inventory told me that I had escaped with no serious injuries, and I quickly undid the seatbelt that had undoubtedly taken care of me. Of course, that realization made me remember that DeeDee and Linda hadn't been buckled in and I immediately turned to the back seat.

I heard Linda groaning and I saw that she had been thrown to the floor with DeeDee partially covering her.

Fighting to keep calm, I got out and opened the back door then had to scramble to catch DeeDee as she tumbled out, unconscious.

"Oh, God –" I carefully laid her on the ground and turned to see Linda pulling herself up and out. When she tried to bear weight on her left leg, she immediately grimaced and sank down next to DeeDee.

"Are you okay?" I asked, not sure what to do first.

Linda winced as she massaged her left ankle. "I think so. My ankle got twisted when we impacted and then DeeDee slid on top of me." She flexed her foot and winced again. "I think it's just a bad sprain – I'll be okay. What about DeeDee?"

I turned back. She hadn't moved.

"Why is there blood on your arm?" Linda asked, pointing to my right, even as she moved to check for a pulse on DeeDee.

Startled, I glanced down and rubbed at the sticky red blood congealing across the length of my forearm. I didn't see any injury and quickly shook my head. "It's not my blood," I said, even as I jerked my gaze down to DeeDee.

She didn't have a mark on her, so Linda and I gently log-rolled her to one side. I held her in place, while Linda checked carefully and finally found the source of the blood.

"There's a cut on the back of her head. I don't think it's too serious, but we need to get going," she announced, rocking back on her heels. She looked over at the jeep and I followed her gaze. It didn't take a mechanic to see that the jeep was not drivable.

"Now what?" She asked, her tone sounding petulant to my ears, as she brought her hands to her hips.

I clenched my jaw in anger. "Damnit!" I huffed as I stood up. "Should have just stayed where we were!"

"Are you blaming me!" Linda exclaimed, her voice rising in anger.

"No! I'm not blaming you. This isn't you're fault. It isn't anyone's fault."

(Except maybe Steve's,) I thought, but did not say. Damnit, here I was blaming a dead man, when I needed to take care of his wife and as yet, unborn child.

"Look," I said, lowering my tone, "We don't have time to just sit out here and bicker. We did what we thought was best and it didn't work out. Let's just get back to the house; otherwise we're going to be delivering this baby in the woods."

Linda ducked her head in shame. "You're right – I'm sorry I snapped at you. Let's get going, huh?" She hobbled back to the jeep and crawled in to get her medical bag and DeeDee's case.

I stared down at DeeDee's very pregnant body then looked up the road, mentally calculating the distance back to the house. It was about a mile back to the driveway, and another quarter of a mile up to the house, but I thought I could cut through the trees and hopefully shorten the distance. Thankful for once to be tall, I hefted DeeDee into my arms and awkwardly raised myself to a standing position, feeling her head resting against my chest. I stumbled before figuring out how to balance her weight and walk at the same time.

Chapter 9

Linda's eyes were wide with disbelief. "Are you really going to carry her the whole way back?"

"You got a better idea?" I huffed, already starting to sweat as I struggled up the incline. "'Cause, I gotta tell you, I'm open to suggestions at this point, seeing as how I think I've felt two contractions already."

"You'll never make it, Macho Man," she said with a snort, not quite mocking me.

I wasn't going to waste my breath arguing with her. Calling upon my inner stores of testosterone, I growled low in my throat, shifted my grip slightly and kept moving.

With a sigh of resignation, Linda limped behind me and we slowly made our way back.

I guess it must be true about the power of adrenaline, because somehow I kept going. Time became meaningless as I just focused on putting one foot in front of the other. I know my arms were shaking uncontrollably from the strain, but it didn't mask the contractions I could feel tightening DeeDee's belly with alarming frequency. I'm pretty sure it was the contractions and not any special ability on my part that got me from the wreck back to the house.

Linda wisely kept silent. I figured that she had enough to worry about, dealing with her own discomfort, the heavy bags and knowing that she had a baby to bring into the world under less than ideal conditions.

Finally, we made it. My body was one gigantic ache. I was sweating profusely and all my muscles and joints were throbbing but I was relieved beyond belief to be back at the house with no sign of Lloyd Perry and his goons.

I tripped as I went through the front door and would have fallen flat if Linda hadn't been there to keep me upright. I shuddered at the thought of crushing DeeDee under me if we'd gone down. Somehow, I managed to stay upright just long enough to get to the bedroom and place DeeDee on the bed. Dog-tired, I collapsed next to her, my heart threatening to pound out of my chest and breathing like I'd just run a marathon. Which, I suppose, in a way, I did.

But this was more of a triathlon and now we were on the final stage.

Linda came out of the bathroom, drying her hands and set about getting out her supplies. "Rick, go get cleaned up while I check DeeDee. If she doesn't wake up pretty soon, I'm really going to need your help."

I was too nervous to ask just what kind of help I was going to be called upon to give, so I reluctantly dragged myself out of bed and did as I was instructed. Remembering that I had gone off without my luggage, I checked in the closet and found a small stash of Steve's clothes. Grimacing at the necessity of wearing them, I nonetheless grabbed a pair of shorts, sweats and a t-shirt and hurried to the shower.

The last thing I saw as I closed the bathroom door was Linda shining a penlight in DeeDee's eyes.

Chapter 10

"Rick! Hurry up – I need you out here!" Linda's voice called out, urgent but controlled.

(This is it!) I thought as I hurriedly dried off, got dressed, yet wanting nothing more that to stand under the hot water just five more minutes. Anything to avoid what I prayed would not be another tragic event.

I rushed over to the bed and saw that Linda had laid out blankets and towels and placed various medical items within easy reach.

"What do you want me to do?" I asked anxiously, although I was trying to appear calm.

"You're going to have to help DeeDee push. She still hasn't come around and the baby's going to need all the force I can get behind it. The head is already down in the birth canal – I don't think I could do a C-section now if I –was- in a hospital."

I felt my blood drain to my feet and I think I actually got a little light-headed. "Just how am I supposed to help her push?" I managed to get out.

"Don't be such a wuss," Linda chided me. "Sit behind her." She pulled DeeDee forward enough for me to slide in so that DeeDee's back was flush against my chest and my legs were positioned along the outside of hers.

"Okay, now tuck her head down and use your chin to keep her in position and grab behind her knees. Fold yourselves over when I tell you," Linda directed, as she took her position between DeeDee's legs and placed one hand on DeeDee's belly. I couldn't see her other hand, but her next words let me know where it was. "It's almost time," she said softly, "I can feel the head – it's right there."

I closed my eyes, not yet ready to see this. I concentrated on the woman in my arms, feeling the softness of her skin, smelling the floral scent of the shampoo she used and marveling at how incredible it was that she fit so neatly along my body.

"Okay, Rick – now!"

I took a huge breath, grasped her legs securely and pulled them up towards me as firmly as I dared. My eyes were squeezed tightly shut as I pressed down on DeeDee's head to keep us tucked. (Oh, God,) I thought, (please let this work.)

Chapter 11

Desperately, I hung on, feeling my strength fading and exhaustion creeping in. With my eyes still closed, it felt like a fog was starting to roll in and envelope me. Distantly, I realized that Linda was telling me to relax; that the contraction was over.

I let out the breath I'd been holding and slumped backwards. DeeDee's head lolled against my chest and my concern about her prolonged unconscious state began to escalate. I was about to question Linda when she suddenly ordered me back up.

Quickly, I scrambled to push us forward and adjusted my grip at DeeDee's legs.

"Come on, Rick –" Linda encouraged me, "Come on – you can do it."

When I heard her talk to me like that, I had an almost out-of-body experience – it was disorienting. Holding onto DeeDee, using my muscles to push a baby out of her body – it was downright weird. So strange and yet, I was completely awed by the power that coursed deep in her belly. I felt I was simply the tool to harness that power.

I just couldn't look. Not yet.

"It's coming, Rick. Hang on – don't move." Linda's voice was calm, in control and it kept me confident.

Without warning, DeeDee began to stir; a low moan escaped her lips. Startled, I loosened my hold.

"No!" Linda snapped. "Don't let go, Rick – I've almost got the head out!"

I nodded in understanding and took a brief peek over the swell of DeeDee's swollen belly. I caught a glimpse of wet, black hair, molded against the head – no face was visible yet.

DeeDee's movements became more purposeful; her cries of pain tore at my heart, but Linda cautioned me not to release my hold. "Talk to her, Rick – try to get her to wake up and focus. Tell her the baby is coming – but keep this position."

"Got it," I told her and turned my attention to DeeDee. She was crying and her hands were prying at my arms.

"Ssh," I said, my lips at her ear, "DeeDee – it's Rick. Can you open your eyes? Open your eyes, DeeDee – it's time. Your baby is almost out." I kept my voice low, trying to mirror the tone that Linda had used before.

Just as I thought she was going to settle down, she screamed – the sound reverberating in the small room. 

"The baby's out!" Linda called out joyfully. "It's a girl!"

Without stopping to think, I released DeeDee's legs and jerked my head up in time to see Linda place a tiny baby, glistening with amniotic fluid, on her mother's belly. The baby cried lustily as Linda vigorously toweled her off and my eyes felt as wide as saucers as I stared in open-mouthed awe. Just moments ago, she'd been in her mother's womb and now she was here – alive. I just sat there – unaware of anything but the new life in front of me.

Linda cooed softly as she quickly measured, weighed and expertly affixed what had to be the smallest diaper I had ever seen.

"Welcome back, DeeDee," Linda looked up and said with a relieved smile.

My whole body jerked when I realized that not only had DeeDee stopped struggling, but that she was awake and I hadn't even realized it.

"Oh my God – is she okay?" DeeDee breathed, her voice weak and laced with fear. She struggled to pull herself up and didn't seem to notice that I helped her. She only had eyes for the baby that Linda quickly swaddled and placed in her arms.

I couldn't observe DeeDee's face, but when she cuddled the baby to her, I was able to see the tiny miracle with large bluish green eyes that blinked owlishly back at me, unable to focus.

"She's perfect," Linda reassured DeeDee, as she peered into her eyes, I guess to make sure that she was okay. Then she turned her attention to me. "Is my big, macho cousin crying?"

I grabbed a clean towel next to me and wiped my face then stared back at her unabashedly unashamed. "You did a great job – thank you."

Linda quirked her lips. "Couldn't have done it without you, you know. I'm really proud of you."

"Uh – excuse me," DeeDee diverted her attention from the baby to Linda and me. We looked at her expectantly. "Would either of you be willing to tell me just what all I missed, including the birth of my daughter and why in the world I have a headache the size of a small city?" She seemed to be realizing that we were back in the house. "Hey, weren't we on the road out of here?"

Linda and I chuckled ruefully and took turns filling DeeDee in.

"Congratulations, DeeDee," I said, giving her a gentle squeeze.

She smiled back at me radiantly. I scrutinized every inch of her face – flushed cheeks, dark circles under her eyes, lips parchment dry but back to her eyes – they were warm and radiant and wet with tears. I reached up to wipe them away.

"Thank you. For everything. Both of you. I can't even think what I would have done if you hadn't come," she whispered hoarsely.

I shook my head. That scenario didn't bear contemplating, as far as I was concerned. "Do you have a name for her?"

DeeDee looked down at her daughter, smiling through a fresh bout of silent tears. "Olivia. Steve wanted Olivia if it was a girl."

I rolled the name around in my mind, trying it on for size. Olivia. I liked it.

When Linda informed me that she still needed to deliver the placenta, I decided it was time for me to make a quick getaway. I –was- a wuss and proud of it when it came to this stuff. A baby was one thing, and I may have missed most of it – but I really didn't think my services would be required at this stage. I carefully extricated myself from behind DeeDee and thought I would make a clean getaway, when Linda asked me to hold the baby.

"Why?" I blurted, without thinking how it might come out.

Linda rolled her eyes. "DeeDee and I are going to be a little busy with this last part and then I'm going to help her take a shower herself and get the bed remade for her."

Suddenly feeling awkward and nervous, I reached out for the tiny bundle in DeeDee's arms and she almost reluctantly handed her newborn over to me.

"You – you won't drop her, right?"

I caught the twinkle in her eye and realized she had more faith in me than I did. With a gulp, I gingerly held her baby girl as if it was a ticking time bomb and went over to the rocking chair by the window. Moving slowly, I managed to sit down without dropping her and clumsily turned the bundle so that she was now in the crook of my left arm.

And then I looked at her. I really looked at her. She was beautiful and suddenly I couldn't take my eyes off of her. My right hand strayed up to ever so gently caress her downy soft cheek, the tip of her tiny upturned nose and across her satiny smooth lips.

Little Olivia was truly a miracle, completely unblemished by the cruelty of man. She was pure innocence and as yet untouched by the horror and tragedy subjected to her mother on the day of her birth.

When I felt her impossibly small hand touch my fingers, I maneuvered them so she could grasp my pinky.

I'm pretty sure that when those baby fingers wrapped around mine, I fell head over heels in love with little Olivia. Totally and completely. She stared up at me and I down at her and I suddenly saw her life flash before my eyes. Everything that her father was going to miss.

It hit me hard. My chest grew tight and my eyes welled up with tears. I vowed then and there that I would do whatever it took to make sure this precious creature was taken care of. I would lay down my life for her.

I don't know how long I sat there, holding her, but I must have dozed off. Obviously I hadn't loosened my hold on her, because when I felt her move, I clutched her protectively to my chest.

"Whoa – easy, Rick – " Linda admonished me. "It's okay – just me."

Reluctantly I released her and noticed that the bed was empty and the sheets had been changed.

"Where's DeeDee?" I asked, resisting the urge to reach up and rub at my burning eyes.

"About to take a quick shower. And I'm pretty sure she's gonna want the baby back when she's done."

I couldn't help but notice her eyes were gleaming. (Busted,) I thought a trifle sheepishly.

Linda checked the now sleeping baby over. "Why don't you see if there's anything to eat, that's quick to fix. I know we're all exhausted, but we should try and get some nourishment. DeeDee especially needs to get her fluid level up so she can breastfeed."

I nodded and headed for the kitchen.

Exactly one hour later, we had polished off 6 cans of various soups and crackers and we were ready for bed. Linda and DeeDee would stay in the master bedroom with the baby and I would settle in on the too small couch. As exhausted as I was, sleep was hard to let in. I was too nervous that Lloyd was still out there – somewhere.

We had to get out of here. Soon.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 12

Refusing to keep looking at my watch, I was finally able to let go; but my sleep was far from restful. When I woke up, God knows how long later, the sun was shining and the pillow and blanket that I had been using were on the floor. Groaning loudly, my incredibly sore muscles protesting any movement, I managed to pull myself to an upright position. I heard Linda and DeeDee talking softly in the kitchen, but couldn't summon up enough energy to get up and join them.

I let my head fall back as I planned and prioritized what to do next.

Unfortunately, I already knew what I had to do and my stomach was churning with the understanding. It wasn't that I was going to have to hitchhike back to LA and remain hidden, and get help. Oh, hell no. I didn't give a damn about that.

God, I was going to have to leave them here. Alone. Linda. DeeDee. Olivia. 

With another groan, I squeezed my eyes shut, tight. I dug the heels of my hands into my eyes against the pain. She shouldn't have to go through this again, I thought. How ironic - Steve brings DeeDee up here, then leaves her behind only to get himself killed. He asks me to save her and now I was going to have to do to her - exactly - what her husband did: abandon her with no phone and no car.

I guess I should take comfort in knowing that Linda was with her. And Olivia. Shit, Steve didn't even get to see his own daughter.

At the thought of that innocent baby, my breath hitched. I wondered how she was doing, so with a supreme effort I pulled myself to a standing position and stumbled to the bedroom. I found her on a blanket; sleeping soundly, placed near the doorway so she could be heard, but away from the window so she wouldn't be seen should we have any unexpected visitors.

I sank to my knees next to her, ignoring the discomfort that the action caused and reached out a finger to caress the tiny hand peeking out from the swaddling blanket. I just couldn't stop staring at her. 

"Do you want something to eat?"

I nearly jumped out of my skin, when I heard DeeDee's quiet voice behind me and felt her hand on my shoulder.

"Huh?" I quickly stood up.

"Breakfast. Coffee. Aren't you hungry?" She eyed me with concern.

I really wasn't feeling up to food, but I knew I had to eat. Who knew how long it was going to take me to get a ride. "Yeah. Sounds great." I looked back at Olivia. "Is she okay?" 

DeeDee smiled. "She's great. She slept for quite a while - I was starting to get worried - I couldn't get her to nurse. She finally seemed to get the hang of it about two hours ago and now that she's full, she asleep again."

"That's great," I said, managing a smile myself. "Let me get freshened up and I'll be right there."

With a nod, DeeDee bent to place a kiss on Olivia and went back out.

I sighed and headed to the bathroom.

Chapter 13

While I was getting dressed in my own clothes, I guess I was so lost in my own thoughts that I didn't hear Linda come in, carrying a bowl that she placed on the end table. She watched me struggle to get my arms into my shirt, and couldn't help but notice the bruising of my joints.

"Pretty sore, huh?"

"You could say that," I retorted with a grimace and tried with limited success to try and work some of the kinks out. Even after the shower, I was one gigantic hurt.

"Dig in," she indicated the bowl. "It's instant oatmeal, but at least it's apple cinnamon. I've got some advil, too." She patted my head like I was a child and stepped away.

"How about some coffee?" I called out petulantly to her retreating back. When she didn't answer, I slumped back on the bed with a huff, closed my eyes and let my thoughts mull over my schedule for the day. I opened one eye when I saw Linda returning. She placed 4 pills in one hand and a cup of coffee in the other. I mumbled my thanks as I downed the pills.

"Don't get all mushy on me – it's just instant." She said with a smirk.

I quirked my lips at her and started in on the oatmeal. Actually, it wasn't too bad. When I finished, I called Linda and DeeDee over and reluctantly told them what I was about to do.

Chapter 14

Linda didn't take the news well. I hadn't really expected her to, but after thirty minutes of discussion, she realized that there was simply no other option. For her part, DeeDee pretty much kept silent, cuddling Olivia close, knowing that she couldn't hike out of here with a newborn just 14 hours after giving birth.

I lost track of how many times I apologized to DeeDee and swearing that she would get back home. Some how, some way, I was going to make sure that she and Olivia would be safe. But DeeDee never said a word. God help me, I couldn't stand to see the tears in her eyes as I gave my spare gun to Linda with instructions on its use.

Linda's hands were shaking as she took the weapon. "I just can't believe this. I've never fired a gun before in my life."

"I'm hoping you still won't have to - but you have to be prepared." I took a deep breath. "I'm sorry to you too, Linda. I never meant for it to be like this. You have to know that."

She dropped her eyes and put the gun on the table. "I do. Please- just - please let my husband know I'm safe."

A fresh wave of guilt washed over me.

"I will. I'm going to take care of this. I swear."

Linda nodded. "Then I guess you better get going."

They both hugged me tightly and I found myself looking down at Olivia, for what I hoped wasn't the last time. I reached over and placed my hand over her head. I swallowed hard, trying to keep my emotions in check. "I'll be back. I promise."

I turned and all but stumbled out the door.

"Take care of yourself," I heard DeeDee call out.

I choked back a sob and never looked back.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 15

As soon as I stepped foot on the dirt road, I glanced down at my watch: just after 11 o'clock in the morning. I figured that a normal pace was about 4 miles per hour, so if I walked a little faster, I should get to the main highway before noon. Keeping my eyes and ears alert, I took off at a brisk pace.

I made it right on schedule and wasn't too surprised that I hadn't heard or seen anything unusual. I was beginning to think that Steve hadn't told Lloyd the location. Or maybe he gave him a false address.

Trying to stay optimistic, I stayed on the shoulder of the highway and attempted to take on the persona of a non-threatening hitchhiker. With a huff at the absurdity of that line of thinking – how exactly does a 'non-threatening hitchhiker' act? I simply rolled my eyes, made sure that my gun was hidden and walked. The thought of flashing my badge occurred to me, but I was afraid that the drivers wouldn't believe it and think it was a trap. Couldn't really blame them, I guess. Not in this day and age.

Fifteen minutes passed before a single car went by and of course the driver blew past me doing at least 70 mph and never slowed down. Discouraged nonetheless, I trudged on, wishing that I had brought something to eat or at least drink. At the time, I had thought that I just wanted to stay light and I was pretty sure that I'd get picked up quickly. When the third driver and one and a half hours went by, I started to regret my earlier reasoning. I had seen six drivers going the opposite direction and was beginning to wonder if I should alter my plan.

Even though I was almost desperate to get back to L.A., desperate for a ride, when I finally heard the 18-wheeler slowing down, crunching the gravel behind me, I was more than just a little nervous. How could I know if it was someone in Lloyd's organization? Or any other type of psycho? I thought of the women back at the house. Anything happened to me – who knew when they'd get out. I shuddered at the thought.

I clenched my jaw and stopped. The massive truck pulled up behind me and though I tried to see the driver, the glare on the windshield made it impossible. I held my position, my hands loosely at my side, open, but ready. I sort of felt like I was at a stand–off at the OK Corral; seeing who would make the first move.

I guess the driver was sizing me up and I must have passed his inspection, because he finally opened up the door and popped his head out.

"Need a ride, Mister?"

I kept an open position as I got my first look at the driver. Tall, about my height, but probably forty pounds heavier and all beefy muscle. He was wearing the requisite flannel shirt over a t-shirt, blue jeans and a ball cap declaring his pride in the Kansas City Chiefs. He looked to be about fifty years old, his face deeply tanned and lined, his eyes hidden behind dark shades and a stubby cigar clamped between his lips.

I took a deep breath. "Yeah, I'm trying to get back to LA. My name is Rick."

The driver didn't answer me but continued to step down from the cab and out and away from the truck. I watched him as closely as he watched me. "You're quite a bit away from LA and I haven't seen an abandoned vehicle for quite some time."

I took a deep breath. "I wrecked my car off road, a ways back. I've been walking over an hour and a half."

The driver continued to give me the once and twice over. "Yeah – okay. Hop aboard, Rick. But no funny stuff. I'm perfectly capable of defending myself – got a wife and kids that I intend to be there for."

Nodding in understanding and relief, I reached out to shake his hand. "Believe me; I've got family to think about as well. No funny stuff." I briefly considered letting him know that I was a cop, but I didn't want to answer any more questions that I had to.

"Well, let's get going. Daylights burning."

When I finally hiked my way up into the cab, I was at last starting to feel hopeful. Shifting painfully in the seat until I found a comfortable position, the driver watched me closely.

"You okay? How bad was the wreck?"

I shrugged my shoulders, remembering that most of my aches and pains were because of the events following the accident. "The right front end was crushed bad enough to make driving impossible."

"Sorry 'bout that. Oh," he paused to snuff out the cigar, "should have introduced myself. Russ Meyers, by the way."

"I can't thank you enough for stopping. Starting to think I was going to have to walk the whole way back."

Russ chuckled. "Well, we're coming up on a truck stop about twenty miles from here. You want something to eat or drink? Anyone you want to call?"

I thought of DeeDee and Linda. God, I wish I –could- call them, but my priority would have to be getting an update on Lloyd Perry and finding a better hiding place. "I wouldn't mind grabbing a bite." I answered, dodging the phone call issue.

"Good enough," Russ replied, then turned his attention to the road and cranked up the radio.

We listened to country music the rest of the way, neither of us wanting to talk. I felt bad that I wasn't able to tell Russ the truth, but I figured the less people who knew, the safer we'd all be.

When we got to the truck stop, I kept a wary eye out for anyone suspicious, but there was almost no one there. So Russ and I picked up some sandwiches, chips and sodas, stretched our legs a bit then hit the road again.

We made it to West LA and he pulled into a large warehouse district just before dark. Russ apologized for not being able to go further but I assured him that he'd gotten me just where I needed to be. I offered to pay him but he wouldn't hear of it.

"Nice to have a little company and reaffirm my belief that there are some decent people out there."

I ducked my head and thanked him again. I spotted a tiny, hole in the wall motel down the street and with a final good bye to Russ, headed out.

Paying cash at the motel and registering under a false name made feel a little safer and the first person I called was my Uncle Tom, Linda's dad. It took almost fifteen minutes to explain the whole situation to him and I was anxious to hear what he thought.

"Ricky, I can't tell you how relieved I am that you called me first. We all heard what had happened on the news. I'll make sure the family knows that you and Linda are okay, but no details, I promise. I'll get Jackie going on getting me the low down on this Lloyd Perry, find out where he's holed up. Now, where do you want to stay?"

I admitted that I wasn't sure yet, but I knew I had to get them back to a place where I could keep an eye on them and protect them. "Let me talk to the Captain. I'm trying to expose as few people as possible. This Perry has a lot of resources and I can't let him weasel his way out this time."

"Don't you worry, Rick – we'll get him. You just call me and I'll get you whatever you need. Do you want me to pick up DeeDee and Linda?"

"No. I gave Linda my extra gun. I need to be the one to bring them back. They've been through enough as it is."

Thanking him, I hung up and thought for a minute. I hesitated to call Captain Cain, but I had to let him know what was going on, even though I had more faith in my family's ability to get to Lloyd, than my own colleagues. He'd slipped through the system once before; what was to keep him from getting off and away again.

In the end, I decided to go ahead and call Cain. He and I weren't exactly best buds, but I had to at least give him some kind of information.

I reached into my wallet and pulled out the card with his home phone number. He picked up on the second ring.

"Cain."

"Captain – it's me, Hunter."

There was a moment of stunned silence.

"Uh – Captain – "

"Hunter!" Cain exploded. "Where the hell have you been? I've got half the force out looking for you!"

"What about Lloyd Perry?" I broke in.

"The other half is after him."

I could hear him take several deep breaths.

"All right, Hunter. Start talking. And I hope like hell you have a good explanation and that you know something about Steve's wife."

"She's safe. That's why I bolted. Steve's last words told me to go to her."

"Where?"

I hesitated. "Look, Captain, let me tell you what's going on. This isn't going to be easy. Lloyd talked to me before he killed Steve. He threatened me and he threatened DeeDee." I sighed and proceeded to go through the whole thing again, leaving out the safe house's location and the fact that DeeDee had delivered her baby.

"So now what?" Cain asked when I was done. "Where is DeeDee?"

"She's safe. She's with my cousin. I'm going to bring them back, but I've got to have someplace that I can guarantee their safety until Lloyd is taken care of."

For a moment, neither one of us said anything. Finally, Cain spoke up.

"Bring them here."

"What?"

"To my house," Cain told me. "No one would ever think of looking for them here."

I was flabbergasted. "Are you serious?"

"Absolutely. I live alone, I have a big house, security system, privacy fence and it's a gated community."

I ran it through my head trying to see if there were any holes in the plan. Actually, the more I thought about it, the more I thought it was a pretty good idea.

"No one at the department has to know," Cain continued. "There won't be any leaks – it'll just be you and I. Trust me, Hunter – I –do- understand what Perry is capable of and I don't want to see anything happen to Steve's widow or you. I'll call off the detail looking for you and we'll concentrate on Perry. We've got a couple of leads, but we haven't tracked him down yet. I can promise you that he left enough evidence at McCall's house to certify a guilty verdict no matter what."

"Captain – I really appreciate this." I was overwhelmed. I couldn't believe he was sticking his neck out like this.

"No thanks are necessary, Hunter. The LAPD takes care of its own. Steve McCall was tortured and killed and I intend to do everything in my power to see that the man responsible pays for that." There was an undeniable catch in Cain's voice when he spoke of Steve's death.

I winced, remembering that Cain had seen Perry's handiwork but had spared me. "Give me directions to the house. I'm going to arrange for a car to get DeeDee and Linda. I probably won't be able to get there until the morning."

Cain supplied me with detailed instructions, including the key code for the security gate. "Be careful, Rick and I'll be here when you get here. Call me if there's anything else you need."

Feeling like a load had been lifted; I hung up the phone and called my uncle back to arrange a car for me. He told me not to worry and he'd have his driver Jackie over as soon as possible. Exhausted, I laid back on the bed and fell almost instantly asleep.

Chapter 16

Captain Cain's House

Cain hung up the phone and rubbed his hands over his eyes. What a nightmare, he thought. (But at least I can do something now.) He headed for the front door to activate the security system when he heard the blast of a single gunshot and he fell to the floor. As he lay on his stomach, seeing his own blood pool around him, he was amazed that he felt no pain and furious that he'd never heard the intruder.

Suddenly, he was turned over and he found himself staring up at an all too familiar face. Unable to breathe, he could only stare up at his shooter.

"Hello, Cain. Remember me?"

Cain gasped for air, his vision fading, but he knew exactly who he was looking at.

Lloyd Perry stood over his victim, and aimed his gun at Cain's chest. "I hear you've invited Hunter over. I'm sorry you won't be around to say hi – but I promise to make him and Mrs. McCall feel right at home."

Cain was already dead when Perry pulled the trigger a second time.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 17

The knock on my door had me on my feet, reaching for my gun before I was even fully awake. A quick glance back at the clock showed me that it was almost four in the morning and I cautiously made my way over to the window. Keeping my back flush against the wall, I pulled the heavy curtain just enough to see the door. It was Jackie; holding a brown bag and two Styrofoam cups. He knocked again, just as I opened the door.

"You alone?" I asked quietly, even as I scanned the area behind him.

"Yeah." He stepped past me and I checked once more to be sure. The parking lot was almost deserted; one of the street lamps was out, but I didn't see anything suspicious, so I quickly backed in and shut the door.

"So, what have you got on Perry?" I asked, moving over to the sink to splash cold water on my face. I could hear Jackie empty the sack behind me. When I turned around, he had set out subs and a small pile of napkins.

"Dig in," he offered, even as he unwrapped one of the large sandwiches. I did so, reluctantly, not overly optimistic that I was going to like what he had to say.

"Talk to me," I mumbled, between bites, too nervous to really savor the homemade subs, but knowing I had to eat something.

Jackie took a sip from his cup before answering. "Perry's on the move," he told me. "The cops have pulled out all the stops and I think they've raided any place Perry's even rumored to have been at. Figure they've called in every marker they've ever had with their informants and just about placed a fucking net over the entire city." He took another bite, before continuing, letting his words sink in. His next words were a shock.

"You know, there's a lot of money being offered for his capture."

"By who?" I asked, intrigued.

"Your uncle. Steve McCall was family and he was your partner. And the family didn't like hearing that you had been threatened as well." Jackie eyed me closely.

I was stunned. For several minutes we ate in silence while I digested what he said and I didn't like how it made me feel. "Yet we still don't have him." I said flatly, though I was raging on the inside. Surely he hadn't found DeeDee. I truly didn't know what I would do if I got back to the house and she wasn't there.

Jackie shook his head. "Vanished like a ghost or something. Got to be hiding out somewhere."

(God, please don't let it be with DeeDee and Linda,) I thought desperately.

I couldn't waste another minute. I needed to get going right away. Jackie told me to take the Suburban he had ridden up in and after I was safely on the road, he'd call for someone to pick him up. After thanking him profusely, I got myself together and drove off.

The drive back to DeeDee and Linda was a mental blur. After almost forty-eight hours of emotional highs and lows, the physical demands and the lack of sleep were combining to take its toll. I didn't know how much longer I could keep this up. I felt completely drained, almost numb. A glance at the rear-view mirror confirmed that I wasn't looking so good, with two days growth on my face, bags under blood-shot eyes and a sickly pallor on my skin.

I was exhausted, worried beyond belief and my fears that I was being followed competed with my terror that Perry was up there waiting for me.

Over. I needed this to be over. I swallowed back a wave of nausea and pressed on.

As I drove, I tried to figure out what I could do to locate Perry; wondering if I was going to have to set myself up as bait, because using DeeDee was completely out of the question. There was no way I would ever consider that.

Pulling into the driveway several hours later, I was nearly paralyzed by the sense of déjà vu all over again. It was like a cruel joke, history kept repeating itself. Once again I was nearly overcome with the fear of what I would find at what had been considered a "safe house". After Steve's murder, I had arrived here with no way of knowing if he had given up DeeDee's location and now I had to dread the possibility of finding her dead all over again. And not just DeeDee this time, but Linda and baby Olivia.

Chapter 18

I don't actually remember leaving the Suburban and walking to the front door, but somehow I managed it. I do have a very clear memory of Linda cautiously opening the door and then throwing herself at me with a cry of pure joy. My own relief was almost painful when I saw she was safe and then DeeDee came in, carrying Olivia and smiling brightly. My knees threatened to give out and I think Linda was actually supporting me until I caught my breath.

"So everyone's all right?" I finally managed to ask, looking at them anxiously.

Linda watched me with worried eyes and led me to the couch, where I gratefully sat down.

"Yeah – we're fine. We've just been worried about you."

I slumped further down in my seat as Linda and DeeDee joined me, one on either side. My eyelids wanted to close, but my gaze settled on baby Olivia and a small smile came to my lips.

"Are you okay?" Linda pressed.

"Just really tired," I sighed. Actually, I felt like I'd had three heart attacks over the past two days and my head ached with a pain that seemed intent on taking up permanent residence behind my eyes. (But yeah – I was just peachy.)

I filled them in on my talk with Tom, Jackie and Captain Cain. "Cain's waiting for us and I think it's probably for the best. I don't want any of our families involved any further."

Linda nodded. "I agree, but don't you think it's a bit strange that no one has seen or heard this Lloyd Perry since – " she broke off abruptly, mindful of DeeDee.

I shrugged my shoulders. "Biding his time, I'm sure."

DeeDee placed one hand on my arm. "Why don't you go get cleaned up; we'll get everything together so we can head out." The concern in her voice was touching and it made me feel better just hearing it.

"And this time, I'm driving," Linda stated, her tone letting me know that there was no room for argument.

Which I had no intention of doing.

Chapter 19

The shower left me feeling almost human again. My original clothes had been washed and it was good to be back in them. There was no razor to be found so the newly grown facial hair would have to stay for now. I rubbed my hands across it, staring at myself critically. "Scruffy", I decided, would be the best way to describe my reflection.

Afterwards, we all had an early lunch and Linda slipped me some Advil that I gratefully accepted. I found myself staring at little Olivia, nestled in her mother's embrace and I thought that even in the twenty-four hours since I'd seen her; she looked different. DeeDee caught me staring.

"It's like she's changing every few minutes," she said wistfully.

"And you're going to be there every step of the way," I reaffirmed my earlier vow.

"Here, why don't you hold her," and before I could protest, she carefully placed Olivia in my arms and scurried to the bathroom, unable to hide her tears.

'Was it something I said?" I looked over at Linda, stricken at the thought that I'd upset DeeDee.

Linda shook her head. "Post-partum hormones are raging. Sometimes referred to as 'baby blues'. Don't worry – it's not you. You'd probably get the same reaction no matter what you said – good or bad."

I nodded, and looked back down at Olivia, not entirely convinced. I shifted Olivia in my arms so that we were facing each other and we kinda stared at each other. Her beautiful bluish-green eyes and the shape of her head were both perfectly round and the downy soft hair seemed to have a mind of it's own laying in all different directions around her face.

Not unexpectedly, I fell in love all over again, staring down at her, wondering how she'd look in six months, a year, or five years. I imagined her learning to ride a bike, playing dress up, going to her prom and suddenly I was flooded with the desire to be there. Seemingly out of the blue, I wanted to step into her late father's shoes.

I huffed silently, shaking my head ruefully at such an idea. (Yeah, okay, I just walk up to DeeDee, say, 'I hope it's okay with you if I make myself Olivia's new dad'.)

Without conscious thought, I took hold of Olivia's hand, stroking the silky soft skin over the tiny fragile bones. (I must really be going over the deep end,) I thought to myself. (Single guy to instant dad in just two days. Yeah – that's gonna happen.) I reminded myself, that I couldn't be Olivia's dad without taking care of her mother as well.

DeeDee

I took a deep breath. This was all so sudden. In what seemed like the blink of an eye, our lives had been turned inside out. A part of how we defined ourselves no longer applied. Steve's partner? Nope. I was a cop with a dead partner and a killer on my tail. DeeDee was no longer a cop's wife, but a single mom and widow to boot. Heavy duty stuff and I just wasn't equipped to deal with it right now.

First things first. Let's get out of here. I'd try and deal with living the rest of our lives if we could just survive the here and now.

Linda had taken every pillow and cushion that she could find and padded the back of the Suburban for me. As I situated my large frame in the cramped quarters, I decided that as tired as I was, it was as good as a five-star hotel. Thankfully, I had written down the instructions for Linda, because I was dead to the world before we made it to the main highway.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 20

I came awake slowly, groaning softly as my mind registered the fact that the vehicle wasn't moving and all was quiet. Too quiet.

I jerked myself to a sitting position nearly conking my head on the metal roof as I looked around and realized that I was alone.

Terror grabbed a hold of me with an iron fist, snatching my breath away completely.

Oh, shit – no – where were they?

I think I was about six seconds away from a full-blown panic attack, unable to move and my brain threatening to lock up at the thought that Perry had found us and snatched the girls as I lay sleeping. With that thought came pure, unadulterated guilt that galvanized me into action and before I could think any further, I practically threw myself over the seat and fumbled with the handle, trying to get out the back door.

It wouldn't open.

(Shit – what the fuck –?) Frantically I jerked at the handle, nearly breaking it in the process, cursing and sweating before I realized the door was locked.

Just as I reached for the knob, I heard the opposite door open. With a startled shout, I whirled around, fumbling for my gun and found myself face to face with Linda and a large bag.

For a second, neither of us moved, staring at each other, eyes wide, mouths gaping open.

She was all right. I saw DeeDee behind her with Olivia. They were all right. Perry hadn't found us. They were all right. They're okay.

I just kept mentally reassuring myself, unable to speak, my lungs working desperately to get replacement oxygen flowing, gasping like I'd been under water for too long.

Linda found her voice first. "Rick, you're finally up – " she laid a bag down and reached over for another. Apparently she was going to play dumb about what I had just gone through and hope I'd blow it off since they were back.

(Not in this lifetime,) I told myself, as I narrowed my eyes. "What the FUCK did you think you were doing!" I shouted, my terror of just moments ago morphing into blind rage.

Linda jumped back as if she'd been shot. Her face went completely blank. "Rick – we – "

"Are you out of your mind!" I roared furiously. "We've got a fucking murderer out there somewhere and you just decide it would be okay to stop for a damn shopping spree!" I was jumping into a full rant without hesitation.

I watched Linda scramble mentally to get her feet back under her. "You wouldn't wake up." She snapped at me, keeping her voice low, which only served to infuriate me more.

"Then you should have tried harder!" I yelled as I slammed both hands down on the seat in front of me.

"Look," she said in a patronizing voice, acting like I was a child in the middle of a temper tantrum. "I took the gun with me, it's not like we were completely unprotected. And we were only in there twenty minutes." She continued to try and defend her actions, eyeing me defiantly and the absurdity of her response only served to make me angrier. (Temper tantrum – I'd show her a temper tantrum), I promised myself.

"Jesus Christ! You've never even shot a gun and you certainly don't have a permit to carry one – so don't tell me everything was under control! If Perry had showed up – you'd be dead! Gun or no gun – you'd all be dead! Do you realize that?" My hands went to my face, rubbing at the ache that had returned with a vengeance because I sure as hell knew.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw DeeDee pull Linda back and hand her Olivia then she tentatively sat down next to me. I could sense her trepidation as she reached out and put a hand on my arm and with a heavy sigh at her gentle touch; I felt my anger slowly slip away.

"I'm so sorry, Rick." Her voice was soft and full of regret and it sent another stab of guilt through me. I'm pretty sure that she figured out just how badly I'd been scared; hence the verbal bashing. "I should have stayed here with you, but we had to get things for the baby. She was completely soaked and we needed diapers, clothes and other essentials. We're so close to Captain Cain's house that we thought we'd be safe and it would be easier to get it now, rather than have to come back out. Please, Rick – if I could do it over again – I would have stayed with you. I'm sorry."

For several moments I didn't trust myself to speak as I mulled it over.

"I'm sorry, too, Rick." Linda added, sounding chastised. "We thought it would be faster if we did it together so we could get it all and we didn't think you should have to get some of the personal items we females need."

I rolled my eyes. (Dear God – I could have lost them because they didn't want me getting tampons or something?) I nearly laughed out loud at the absurdity. "Look – okay. It's over and everyone is safe. Can you promise me this won't happen again? Until Lloyd Perry is safely behind bars, I don't want you two out of my sight – or Cain's. And for the record; if it means keeping you safe I –would- get –whatever- 'female' items you needed. Are we clear?"

DeeDee and Linda both nodded meekly and I felt like a father who had just reamed out his two daughters. I sighed again and for the first time took stock of where we were. No one said a word, and even Olivia drifted off to sleep in her mother's arms. Linda took the opportunity to unload the car seat they'd bought and nestled the sleeping baby in. DeeDee loaded the other bags into the back and I stepped out to try and calm down and get my bearings. I looked around carefully; scrutinizing the cars around us.

The shopping center we were parked at was bustling with early evening activity, but I didn't see anything suspicious. Realizing that I really needed to go to the bathroom, I spotted a gas station which seemed preferable than going out in public.

Linda was watching me warily, I guess to make sure that my previous fury wasn't going to erupt again.

"Now what?" she asked tentatively.

"Don't," I huffed, my voice rough. She made me feel like an idiot, like I was some kind of villain preying on helpless females. "I'm not going to bite. I'm all right – you – you just really scared me," I admitted.

"I know, and I'm really sorry. Forgive me?" she asked, eyeing me hopefully.

I managed a small smile as I climbed into the driver's seat. "This time," I said with a wink. "And just 'cause you're family."

She buckled herself into the front passenger seat and reached over to give me a playful punch on my shoulder.

"What about me?" DeeDee piped up from the back seat where she was snuggling a blanket over Olivia.

I looked into the rearview mirror and caught her looking back at me. Our gazes locked and for a moment I simply stared and so did she. God, she's beautiful. The thought entered my brain without warning. Suddenly the air was so thick I didn't think I'd be able to breathe, my hands became slick on the steering wheel and from seemingly out of nowhere I had the incredible desire to –make- her my family.

"Uh – guys –"

The sound of Linda's voice caused both of us to jump and in the blink of an eye, the moment was lost. I felt my cheeks flame and DeeDee quickly ducked her head, probably to hide her own blush. Obviously she had seen something in my eyes, but I had no idea how she felt about it.

"Sorry about that," I mumbled, mortified and feeling like I'd got caught with my hand in the cookie jar. "There's a gas station over there – let's fill up the tank and get to Cain's house. I'm sure he's worried by now." Glancing over at my cousin, I'm pretty sure she wasn't fooled by my attempt at nonchalance, but she at least had the good grace not to say anything, to my profound relief.

I quickly started the car and pulled out. A glance in the rearview mirror showed DeeDee staring out the window, studiously avoiding my eyes. I couldn't help but wonder what she was thinking and if I'd somehow offended her. She'd just lost her husband for God's sake, and had a baby - she sure as hell didn't need anything complicated right now.

Complicated. Yep – that's exactly what this was, I told myself. I think I'm falling in love with my former partner's wife.

Chapter 21

As soon as I filled the gas tank we were back on the road, heading to Cain's house. I realized too late that I probably should have called him but I guess it didn't matter since we were so close and my mind was becoming a little preoccupied with thoughts of a home cooked meal and a comfortable bed. At least that's what I kept trying to focus on so that I wouldn't think about my evolving feelings towards DeeDee McCall.

With so much that had happened, I knew that I wasn't ready to deal with something of this magnitude. That would come later. If at all. I told myself that I had to be realistic. As far as I knew, this was all me – I didn't have a clue what DeeDee was thinking. About me, that is. I mean, the poor woman must be on a psychological seesaw between the joy of becoming a mother and the grief of losing her husband all in one day.

I managed to peek back at her a couple of times as she watched little Olivia, and by the expression on her face, it seemed to my untrained eye that she might be focusing only on the joy and not dealing with the grief.

Not that I could or would blame her.

I was no shrink – but even I knew that at some point she was going to have to come to terms with Steve's death.

Mental head slap, as I reminded myself firmly that – I – needed to do the same. Because as I recall, I was initially pretty damn mad at Steve and now he was dead.

(Shit.) I did not want to do this. Not now. My hand shook slightly as I quickly rubbed it across my burning eyes. (Get a grip,) I told myself forcefully, (focus).

"Hey, Rick – isn't that the street?" Linda's voice startled me out of my reverie, making me hit the brake in reflex.

"Huh? Oh – yeah – thanks." I slowed down enough to make the turn. "Almost there."

"You okay?" She put her hand on my arm, making no attempt to mask her concern.

"I'm fine. Just tired." (Understatement of the year), I thought ruefully, hoping that Linda didn't know what was really going through my head. Another glance at the rearview mirror revealed DeeDee seemingly oblivious to us. I sighed.

Deciding that I better get myself back into "cop mode", I pulled myself up straighter and as I cruised up to the security gate, I carefully scouted out the surrounding area: no occupied parked cars, no one behind us that I could see; so I rolled down the window.

"Here we go," I commented unnecessarily as I leaned out and entered the code and then we all watched the heavy wrought iron gate swing slowly open.

After a final look behind us, I inched forward and for some reason I stopped the car and turned partially in my seat so I could get a good look out the back. We all felt compelled to make sure that the gate closed behind us and when it did, I tried really hard to imagine that we were safe for now.

"All clear?" DeeDee asked with a slight catch in her voice, almost as if she was afraid to believe that we might have made it.

Without stopping to think, I reached back to take her hand in mine and gave it a gentle squeeze. "Looks that way," I answered, wanting to reassure her and then realizing how it might look – I quickly withdrew my hand and gave Linda a reassuring pat as well. I think she was probably aware that I was trying to reassure myself, too.

I quirked a smile at her and then we went off in search of Cain's house.

"Let's do this," I said confidently, turning around in my seat and putting the car in drive.

When I first saw the house and pulled into the driveway, I thought that Cain had done a good job of batting down the hatches. The blinds were all drawn, the garage closed. Everything looked quiet.

"Okay?" Linda asked with her hand on the door and moving without giving me a chance to answer.

I nodded absently as I continued to scan the entire area and she was out of the car before I fully realized it.

"Hey!" I called out anxiously, fumbling with my own door and scrambling to my feet. I was five steps from the car when I thought about DeeDee still in the backseat and I froze. Linda was at the front door but she stopped at the tone of my voice. "What"" she asked petulantly. "I need to go to the bathroom."

I wanted to berate her for not going earlier. I couldn't explain why I suddenly felt nervous and torn in two directions. Something wasn't right and I couldn't see it. Time was slowing down. All at once I couldn't seem to catch my breath and I felt like I was moving in extreme slow motion. I looked to my left. Linda had her hand raised as if to knock on Cain's front door, staring at me like I'd grown another head. I looked to my right. DeeDee had the back door open but was still inside the Suburban, bent over Olivia but turning to see what was going on.

Just as I turned back to Linda, the front door opened. Startled, Linda whipped her head around and without warning her upraised hand was grabbed and she was pulled violently inside the house, out of my sight. There was a scream and then a single gunshot.

Panic hit. "Linda!" I shouted, simultaneously reaching for my gun and running towards the house. And then the sound of gunfire rang out again. I felt the pressure of the bullets entering my body long before I felt any pain. My upper body was pushed backwards by the force of the shots even though my legs were slow to get the message and I managed two more steps before collapsing to the ground.

Linda. DeeDee. Olivia. All I could think was that I had failed them. My heart was racing, my breathing ragged and I could feel the sticky wetness of blood all over. And then he was standing over me. Lloyd Perry. The sadistic son of a bitch that started all this. The asshole must have been here the whole time!

I briefly wondered if Cain had been in on it, but dismissed the notion out of hand. Of course, that meant that Cain was dead as well.

"Hello Hunter. I've been waiting for you." Gasping for air, I squinted up at him and saw that he had his gun pointed at my head. I was seconds away from dying and the only thing I could think of was DeeDee and Olivia. Oh God, I was going to miss them.

Lloyd adjusted his aim. I closed my eyes. I had failed.

And then DeeDee was screaming my name.


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 22

(NONONONO) In my semiconscious haze I saw Lloyd jerk his head over at the sound of a woman screaming. I couldn't believe she had given up her position. Why didn't she lay low? Surely someone was calling for the police by now. At first I could see that he looked back at the house, but he quickly realized that the sound was coming from the Suburban. And then Olivia joined in the fray.

"What the fuck is this, Hunter?" Lloyd looked down at me and suddenly he seemed to forget his initial plan to kill me, as self preservation kicked in and the need to eliminate any witnesses took over. Warily, he stepped over me and proceeded towards the Suburban. My strength completely gone, I managed an ineffectual swipe at his legs in an effort to trip him up. I really didn't have any other idea other than that because if I had actually managed to get him down, I had absolutely no breath to try and warn DeeDee or fight Lloyd.

From my position on the ground, I couldn't see her and the back door was open. I wanted her to shut it and wondered if I had left the keys in the ignition. Why didn't she drive away? Several precious seconds floated by and I desperately waited to hear the engine start.

It didn't happen and I somehow managed to roll to my side – trying to pull myself towards the vehicle. I didn't know what I could do – my movements were becoming weaker and weaker. The blood trail I was leaving behind draining my life force and thankfully any pain. Every once in a while I guess shock was a good thing.

Lloyd stepped around the open door, his gun aimed at the ready. Once again, I had to close my eyes. I couldn't watch this. I couldn't.

I heard DeeDee's scream mixed with the baby's and I knew this was it.

Seconds later, ambulances and LA's finest came roaring down the street.

Too late, was all that I could think. Too late.

Two gun shot blasts rang out in the twilight and I lost my battle with consciousness. It was over. I had failed.

Linda was dead.

DeeDee was dead.

Probably Olivia and Cain.

I willed myself to go and find them in the hereafter – whatever the hell that was. I couldn't protect them but at least I could see them for eternity.

Chapter 23

The strangest thing happened.

I opened my eyes.

That can't be right. I'm dead.

Aren't I? But if I was dead, why would I open my eyes?

Taking in my surroundings, it was pretty obvious that I wasn't dead. Unless the afterlife looked just like a damn hospital room and I don't think that it does.

So, since I was currently alone, I tried to figure out what kind of shape I was in. Using only my eyes first, I saw a clock that read 3:00 and since the window was dark, I knew that meant it was three in the morning. Which morning, I hadn't a clue.

I found out pretty quickly that raising my arms was difficult. Not only did I have an IV in each one, but I was extremely weak and the movement caused such sharp pains in my chest that it literally took my breath away. Struggling against the pain, I managed to lift my head and saw that I wasn't wearing a gown and my entire chest was bandaged with a tube coming out my left side. Sinking back onto the pillow, I fumbled for the call button. I had broken out in an icy sweat and I knew this was too much for me to deal with on my own.

Somehow I had survived the shooting but damage had been done and I needed to know what. As I tried to get a handle on my physical agony, I firmly pushed away thoughts of the women I had lost.

Nope – definitely wasn't ready for that. The last thing I remembered was gunshots and my inability to protect them hurt me in a way my bullet wounds couldn't come close to approximating.

I was about to press the call button again when the glass door slid open and a guy who looked to be about thirty came in, dressed in blue scrubs with a stethoscope draped across his neck.

"Hey," he greeted me, "Good to see you awake."

"Uh – thanks." I was a little confused. Since when did doctors answer call buttons?

He paused at the doorway to pull what I assumed was my chart from a rack on the wall and flipped through the pages.

"So, do I call you Sgt, or Mr. Hunter?"

I intended to shrug my shoulders wanting to show that it didn't really matter one way or the other, but the small movement intensified the ache in my chest, so I stilled my body with a wince. "Rick is fine," I said roughly, surprised at how hard it was to talk. I wasn't really a "Mr." kind of guy and right now I didn't feel anything at all like a police sergeant. Just Rick. I managed a painful swallow and asked for some water.

"Sure." He popped his head out the door and I heard him call for someone named Stacy to bring me some water. "My name is Gary, by the way. I'm your nurse for the next four hours."

(Hmph), I thought, (male nurse). I slumped back and watched Gary proceed to check every piece of equipment I was currently hooked up to as well as my IV sites and chest tube.

"You seem surprised," Gary commented nonchalantly and without looking at me.

"I guess I am a little," I mumbled, nonplussed, and hoping that I hadn't made some huge social faux pas.

"Hey – don't worry about it. I'm used to it. It's the price I pay for getting to work with all the latest and greatest technological medical equipment and meet some really great people at the same time."

I was spared further talk by the arrival of Stacy, bearing a glass of water and a larger pitcher that she placed on the bedside table. She and Gary helped me drink my fill and cool the burning in my throat.

"How's the pain, Rick?" Gary asked me. "Honestly," he prodded when I hesitated.

"Pretty bad," I reluctantly admitted with a sigh, but didn't elaborate just how much of it couldn't be helped with anything he would put in my IV.

Gary told me he'd be right back and for several minutes I was left alone with my thoughts. I closed my eyes, struggling against thoughts of my cousin, DeeDee – dead. And Olivia.

"Sgt. Hunter, I'm Dr. Miller."

I looked up to see a man of average height, wearing dark green scrubs, a slightly wrinkled white lab coat and looking like he'd just woke up. Behind him, Gary was hooking something up to my IV.

"Gary is going to show you how to work the self-controlled morphine pump to keep you comfortable. Press it when you need it – and don't worry, you can't overdose."

"Before you do, can you fill me in on what's going on?" Part of me really didn't want to know, but I realized that I really had no other choice.

"Of course," Dr. Miller answered. "I should have started with that." He paused long enough to pull up a chair and grab my chart. He stunned me by letting me know right off the bat that I'd been in for three days, now. As I was trying to wrap my brain around that, he explained that I was suffering from exhaustion, and two gunshot wounds that had broken three ribs on the left side and punctured a lung, and cost me a part of my liver and intestine. I was getting a second blood transfusion and on antibiotics. "You're very lucky to be alive."

I nodded my understanding, but I didn't believe a word of it.

"You should make a full recovery. I need to call your superiors to let them know that you've regained consciousness. They've been quite anxious to talk to you." He stood and turned back to Gary. "Administer a loading dose after you show him how it works."

"I'm on it," Gary responded, handing me a small gray device attached to the IV pump as Dr. Miller left the room.

"Wait – " I stilled his hand with my own. "Look, thanks for the update, but I – I need to know what happened and not just to me."

Gary dropped his eyes.

"Come on, man," I implored, unable to hide the agony in my voice. "I need to know. Tell me what you know."

Gary shook his head. When I felt the burning in my left hand, I realized that he had already injected the morphine.

"Tell me what you know" I ordered, but what little strength I had was fading and I know my words carried little authority.

"Your Captain was killed by the guy that shot you. Some guy named Lloyd Perry."

Numbness was spreading through my body, but the words still stung. Badly. Cain had just wanted to help and somehow Perry had found him, killed him and then lain in wait for us.

"Is – is – he –" My words were slurring and it was harder and harder to keep my eyes open, but I had to know more.

"Lloyd Perry is dead."

Then I was out.


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 24

The next time I opened my eyes everything was hazy.

Or maybe I just thought I opened my eyes. I don't know. This morphine is pretty potent stuff. Taking a chance that I was awake, I shifted my gaze around, since my eyes seemed to be the only thing I could move, and noticed two things.

It was still dark outside the window and what I thought was an angel was sitting next to me.

After blinking a couple of times, my vision seemed to focus and I saw that it was DeeDee. And so I figured out that I was dreaming. Which actually works out pretty good for me, because not only do I get to see her, but here in dreamland, there is no pain and I feel like I'm floating on a cloud. A wondrous, narcotic cloud.

Going off on a tangent, I briefly wondered if that meant I was dead – but quickly dismissed that notion when I saw that I was still bandaged with a chest tube and two IV's. Probably wouldn't need this stuff if I was dead and I had already figured out that the afterlife wasn't going to look like a hospital room.

Returning my drug-addled attention to my dream angel, I blinked again and saw that she was asleep. I managed the smallest of movements with my left hand and only then realized that she had been holding it and I never even felt it. It made me sad – like I'd missed out on a great opportunity.

She shifted slightly in her chair and then opened her dark eyes. For a moment I was rendered speechless as I watched her eyes come into focus, filled with fear and then concern as her gaze settled on me. And then she smiled in relief. She looked so beautiful, almost as beautiful as she did after giving birth to Olivia. Glowing.

She didn't say a word and as I was unabashedly staring at her ethereal beauty, I was suddenly overwhelmed by a rush of emotion and a desperate need to tell her everything. In this dream state there were no barriers, no inhibitions, and no doubts. It was as if a dam had broken open at the sight of her and everything I felt tumbled out. I cried.

Even in my dream, my voice sounded hoarse as I let out the anguish and anger at Steve's untimely death. I poured out all the guilt and remorse that I felt for letting it happen, for not being a better partner and friend. I had to let him go and I felt a little piece of me go with him.

Through it all, DeeDee, the angel, didn't look at me. She just sat silently in a chair at my side, bent over with her head on the top of my thigh. I couldn't see her face, but at least she kept hold of my hand and I felt her tears on my palm and saw her shoulders shaking slightly.

It was a pain that no drug could touch, but it was a cleansing pain. It was cathartic; a complete release and I wished that every dream could make me feel so free. Free to tell her everything. In this nexus I felt compelled to tell her that I had fallen in love with Olivia and with her.

"I do love you," I whispered brokenly, "please forgive me. Steve was my best friend. And my partner. But with everything we've been through, the thought of going on without you is unimaginable. I don't think I could bear not being with you and Olivia."

The angel before me finally looked up, her face so pale, but her eyes bright and shining with the tears she'd shed and smiled.

That was all I needed, and as I was still unable to move with the oppressive narcotic coursing through me, I let myself sink down into an empty blackness but with the image of DeeDee as a beautiful angel, I didn't feel completely alone anymore.

Chapter 25

"Sgt. Hunter."

An unfamiliar voice penetrated the fog I was in and I reluctantly pulled myself awake to see who it was. Two men in suits standing on either side of my bed. I sighed. (Not a dream. No angels this time).

Internal Affairs. (Had to know this was coming), I thought with a disgruntled huff.

"Guess this isn't a social call, huh guys?" I said.

The two men exchanged glances. The taller one, with a pencil thin mustache introduced himself as Anders and his partner Robbins. "We're sorry to have to do this now, and no, this isn't a social call, Sgt."

"I will be more than happy to answer each and every question you have, but you're going to have to go first. I want to know what happened to my cousin Linda Walsh, DeeDee McCall and her baby Olivia."

Anders and Robbins blinked at my unexpected demand but remained silent. I glared back; the menace in my voice should be obvious no matter how many drugs they'd had me on since being hospitalized. Actually, I felt pretty lucid right now, and really uncomfortable, so I'm figuring that the morphine had been turned off so I could give an accurate account. "Look guys, I'm not kidding – you tell me how they are and I mean now."

"Sgt Hunter, please," Anders said with a pained expression. "We will have to have your statement untainted by –"

"Dead or alive?" I barked with as much ferocity and strength as I could muster, painfully pulling myself to an almost sitting position, ignoring the blinding pain the movement caused.

They exchanged glances. Anders shrugged and deferred to Robbins. Robbins nodded and turned back to me. "They're all three alive."

Weakly I sank back against the pillows with an agonized sigh, yet nearly overcome with relief. (Oh God – I hadn't dared to hope. . . I thought Linda was dead for sure. . . DeeDee probably. . . Olivia. . .)

Working to get my racing heart and ragged breathing under control and a handle on the blazing fire in my chest without benefit of morphine was as hard as trying to wrap my brain around the fact that they were all three alive. They're okay. (Unbelievable – but how - ?)

"Your turn, Sgt Hunter," Anders said firmly, the tone of his voice brooked no argument and let me know that no further information was coming until I was done. Fine.

"Start at the beginning," said Robbins, as he placed a tape recorder on the over-bed table. After he pushed the buttons, we all introduced ourselves, and Anders stated the date and the nature of my statement.

So, with nothing to hide now, I went through it all; I left absolutely nothing out. The questions didn't start until I got to Cain's involvement.

"He volunteered _his_ house?" Anders asked, with a hint of disbelief in his voice. "Why not a police safe house?"

"There wasn't time," I countered. 'We couldn't risk it. Perry was out there, and every available officer was looking for him. We figured the fewer people that knew where we were - the better." I hoped I made them understand. Cain was dead and didn't deserve a black mark on his service record for trying to protect us.

"Please continue, Sgt," Anders said, startling me out of my reverie.

"Yeah, sure," I said and managed to bring myself back to the present and I wasn't interrupted again until I told them about arriving at Cain's house.

"So you hadn't spoken to Capt Cain since the night before?" Robbins asked.

I shook my head and admitted that I didn't think about it until we were back on the road. "I just blew it off, figuring we were so close anyway. That and I was simply exhausted. So much had happened in such a short period of time, I think I was just running on fumes at that point."

"Would you have done anything differently if you had called but hadn't gotten an answer?"

I thought about it for a minute then shook my head again. "Probably not. I'd have assumed that he got called in or something job related and since he had no way to contact me he couldn't let me know."

"The time of Capt Cain's death would be very close to your call to him." Robbins told me.

"Perry had him all along? I can't believe it. I won't believe it. The Capt wouldn't have lured us back to let Perry have us and there was nothing in our conversation to make me think that. And he had no idea that I would call to ask for help." I was indignant at the thought that Cain was dirty.

Robbins nodded his understanding. "We know. We have a timeline for Cain up until your call that night. He stopped for dinner at a place on Riverdale Road. There's evidence that Cain's trunk was jimmied open and we think that's where Perry broke into Cain's trunk and hitched a ride to his house. Cain drove into his garage and Perry waited for his chance."

I shook my head. "I called Cain – Perry is there to overhear that I'm coming in so he kills Cain and we walk into his trap. Does that about cover it?" I asked, unable to hide my anger, but relieved that it looked like Cain's record was clean.

"Looks that way," Anders said. "Perry knew he was a marked man and he thought he'd found the perfect hiding place with a chance to eliminate you and Mrs. McCall as well."

I looked away, my breathing shallow, white hot fury raging through my veins.

"Did Capt Cain know about your cousin being with you?" Robbins asked after several minutes of silence.

"Yeah – I told him."

"Did he acknowledge her out loud?" Robbins pressed on.

At my puzzled look, he clarified the question. "Would Perry have known that Mrs. Walsh was coming with you?"

It took me a few minutes to try and replay our conversation in my mind before shaking my head. "No – Cain never said Linda's name or anything like it."

"Okay, Sgt, let's move on," Anders stated. "Who was driving when you arrived at Cain's house?"

"I was," I told them, my voice losing strength rapidly. I was really getting tired, but I knew that I had to finish this up – I had to find out what happened after I lost consciousness, so I made myself go on. "Everything was quiet when we pulled up, but I was still on edge. Before I knew it, Linda was out of the car and at the front door – I was on the sidewalk and DeeDee was still in the car with Olivia." I stopped and took several sips of water. "All of a sudden the front door opened and Linda was jerked inside and I heard a gunshot." This was getting hard. I had thought that they were dead. It was becoming increasingly more difficult to talk. After a couple more breaths; trying to keep my emotions under some semblance of control, I went on.

"Before I knew it, I had been shot twice – Perry was standing over me and - and then I heard DeeDee – she was screaming. All I could think - this was – oh God – I wanted her to run – to hide – but she – " I had to stop. Gasping painfully, I struggled to get finished. "Perry heard her – heard Olivia. He was going over there – I – I tried to stop him – but I couldn't."

My breath was hitching in my chest, the pain was intense, and reliving the account was like pouring acid on an open wound. (Just a little more,) I told myself. "I heard the sirens, but all I could think was that it was too late. They were too late."

Exhausted, I closed my eyes. Vaguely I heard the tape recorder switched off.

"Sgt Hunter, thank you. I know how difficult this has been for you."

(No, you don't Robbins,) I thought but didn't say. (You have no idea what I've been feeling while I've been lying here thinking that I'd lost a woman I just realized I was falling in love with, her beautiful new baby girl and gotten my own cousin killed.)

"Why don't you press the button on the pain medication pump," I heard a new voice say. I looked up to see my nurse, Janine, standing next to me. I hadn't even heard her come in.

"Tell me about Linda and DeeDee," I said, turning back to Anders.

He nodded. "Mrs. Walsh was apparently thrown to the ground and shot one time in the abdomen. We've been told she'll make a full recovery. The baby was unharmed. Because no one had heard from Capt Cain, they had already dispatched an officer in an unmarked car. He was the one that summoned the ambulance and other squad cars you heard. He saw Perry aiming at the car and was able to get a shot off from his own car and his shot prevented Perry from finishing his dirty work."

"DeeDee's all right?" I whispered, hardly daring to believe.

"Perry was still able to fire, but it went wild." Anders told me. "The bullet hit her left leg and she's got some stitches. It tore through some muscle, but no bones were broken. Like your cousin, if there's no infection, she's expected to be just fine."

I closed my eyes and was finally able to banish the blackness that I felt I'd awakened in, thinking that I'd lost them. They were all right. They were going to be just fine. It was as if a huge load had been lifted and I was overwhelmed but then the pain of my own injuries reintroduced itself and again Janine urged me to restart the morphine.

I hesitated then looked at Anders and Robbins. "Are we done guys?"

"Yes, Sgt, thank you," Robbins replied and both Internal Affairs officers stood and left. God, I was glad that was over. I turned back to Janine. "When can I see them?"

"In the morning," she answered with a smile. "It's almost 7pm, so just press the button and try to get a good night's sleep. Call if you need anything else."

As badly as I wanted to see them, I knew I just wasn't in any shape right now and they probably needed their rest too. I took comfort in knowing that they were all right and finally activated the morphine attached to my IV. Within minutes all my pain faded away and I willingly followed it into a dreamless sleep.


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 25

"Sgt. Hunter."

An unfamiliar voice penetrated the fog I was in and I reluctantly pulled myself awake to see who it was. Two men in suits standing on either side of my bed. I sighed. (Not a dream. No angels this time).

Internal Affairs. (Had to know this was coming), I thought with a disgruntled huff.

"Guess this isn't a social call, huh guys?" I said.

The two men exchanged glances. The taller one, with a pencil thin mustache introduced himself as Anders and his partner Robbins. "We're sorry to have to do this now, and no, this isn't a social call, Sgt."

"I will be more than happy to answer each and every question you have, but you're going to have to go first. I want to know what happened to my cousin Linda Walsh, DeeDee McCall and her baby Olivia."

Anders and Robbins blinked at my unexpected demand but remained silent. I glared back; the menace in my voice should be obvious no matter how many drugs they'd had me on since being hospitalized. Actually, I felt pretty lucid right now, and really uncomfortable, so I'm figuring that the morphine had been turned off so I could give an accurate account. "Look guys, I'm not kidding – you tell me how they are and I mean now."

"Sgt Hunter, please," Anders said with a pained expression. "We will have to have your statement untainted by –"

"Dead or alive?" I barked with as much ferocity and strength as I could muster, painfully pulling myself to an almost sitting position, ignoring the blinding pain the movement caused.

They exchanged glances. Anders shrugged and deferred to Robbins. Robbins nodded and turned back to me. "They're all three alive."

Weakly I sank back against the pillows with an agonized sigh, yet nearly overcome with relief. (Oh God – I hadn't dared to hope. . . I thought Linda was dead for sure. . . DeeDee probably. . . Olivia. . .)

Working to get my racing heart and ragged breathing under control and a handle on the blazing fire in my chest without benefit of morphine was as hard as trying to wrap my brain around the fact that they were all three alive. They're okay. (Unbelievable – but how - ?)

"Your turn, Sgt Hunter," Anders said firmly, the tone of his voice brooked no argument and let me know that no further information was coming until I was done. Fine.

"Start at the beginning," said Robbins, as he placed a tape recorder on the over-bed table. After he pushed the buttons, we all introduced ourselves, and Anders stated the date and the nature of my statement.

So, with nothing to hide now, I went through it all; I left absolutely nothing out. The questions didn't start until I got to Cain's involvement.

"He volunteered _his_ house?" Anders asked, with a hint of disbelief in his voice. "Why not a police safe house?"

"There wasn't time," I countered. 'We couldn't risk it. Perry was out there, and every available officer was looking for him. We figured the fewer people that knew where we were - the better." I hoped I made them understand. Cain was dead and didn't deserve a black mark on his service record for trying to protect us.

"Please continue, Sgt," Anders said, startling me out of my reverie.

"Yeah, sure," I said and managed to bring myself back to the present and I wasn't interrupted again until I told them about arriving at Cain's house.

"So you hadn't spoken to Capt Cain since the night before?" Robbins asked.

I shook my head and admitted that I didn't think about it until we were back on the road. "I just blew it off, figuring we were so close anyway. That and I was simply exhausted. So much had happened in such a short period of time, I think I was just running on fumes at that point."

"Would you have done anything differently if you had called but hadn't gotten an answer?"

I thought about it for a minute then shook my head again. "Probably not. I'd have assumed that he got called in or something job related and since he had no way to contact me he couldn't let me know."

"The time of Capt Cain's death would be very close to your call to him." Robbins told me.

"Perry had him all along? I can't believe it. I won't believe it. The Capt wouldn't have lured us back to let Perry have us and there was nothing in our conversation to make me think that. And he had no idea that I would call to ask for help." I was indignant at the thought that Cain was dirty.

Robbins nodded his understanding. "We know. We have a timeline for Cain up until your call that night. He stopped for dinner at a place on Riverdale Road. There's evidence that Cain's trunk was jimmied open and we think that's where Perry broke into Cain's trunk and hitched a ride to his house. Cain drove into his garage and Perry waited for his chance."

I shook my head. "I called Cain – Perry is there to overhear that I'm coming in so he kills Cain and we walk into his trap. Does that about cover it?" I asked, unable to hide my anger, but relieved that it looked like Cain's record was clean.

"Looks that way," Anders said. "Perry knew he was a marked man and he thought he'd found the perfect hiding place with a chance to eliminate you and Mrs. McCall as well."

I looked away, my breathing shallow, white hot fury raging through my veins.

"Did Capt Cain know about your cousin being with you?" Robbins asked after several minutes of silence.

"Yeah – I told him."

"Did he acknowledge her out loud?" Robbins pressed on.

At my puzzled look, he clarified the question. "Would Perry have known that Mrs. Walsh was coming with you?"

It took me a few minutes to try and replay our conversation in my mind before shaking my head. "No – Cain never said Linda's name or anything like it."

"Okay, Sgt, let's move on," Anders stated. "Who was driving when you arrived at Cain's house?"

"I was," I told them, my voice losing strength rapidly. I was really getting tired, but I knew that I had to finish this up – I had to find out what happened after I lost consciousness, so I made myself go on. "Everything was quiet when we pulled up, but I was still on edge. Before I knew it, Linda was out of the car and at the front door – I was on the sidewalk and DeeDee was still in the car with Olivia." I stopped and took several sips of water. "All of a sudden the front door opened and Linda was jerked inside and I heard a gunshot." This was getting hard. I had thought that they were dead. It was becoming increasingly more difficult to talk. After a couple more breaths; trying to keep my emotions under some semblance of control, I went on.

"Before I knew it, I had been shot twice – Perry was standing over me and - and then I heard DeeDee – she was screaming. All I could think - this was – oh God – I wanted her to run – to hide – but she – " I had to stop. Gasping painfully, I struggled to get finished. "Perry heard her – heard Olivia. He was going over there – I – I tried to stop him – but I couldn't."

My breath was hitching in my chest, the pain was intense, and reliving the account was like pouring acid on an open wound. (Just a little more,) I told myself. "I heard the sirens, but all I could think was that it was too late. They were too late."

Exhausted, I closed my eyes. Vaguely I heard the tape recorder switched off.

"Sgt Hunter, thank you. I know how difficult this has been for you."

(No, you don't Robbins,) I thought but didn't say. (You have no idea what I've been feeling while I've been lying here thinking that I'd lost a woman I just realized I was falling in love with, her beautiful new baby girl and gotten my own cousin killed.)

"Why don't you press the button on the pain medication pump," I heard a new voice say. I looked up to see my nurse, Janine, standing next to me. I hadn't even heard her come in.

"Tell me about Linda and DeeDee," I said, turning back to Anders.

He nodded. "Mrs. Walsh was apparently thrown to the ground and shot one time in the abdomen. We've been told she'll make a full recovery. The baby was unharmed. Because no one had heard from Capt Cain, they had already dispatched an officer in an unmarked car. He was the one that summoned the ambulance and other squad cars you heard. He saw Perry aiming at the car and was able to get a shot off from his own car and his shot prevented Perry from finishing his dirty work."

"DeeDee's all right?" I whispered, hardly daring to believe.

"Perry was still able to fire, but it went wild." Anders told me. "The bullet hit her left leg and she's got some stitches. It tore through some muscle, but no bones were broken. Like your cousin, if there's no infection, she's expected to be just fine."

I closed my eyes and was finally able to banish the blackness that I felt I'd awakened in, thinking that I'd lost them. They were all right. They were going to be just fine. It was as if a huge load had been lifted and I was overwhelmed but then the pain of my own injuries reintroduced itself and again Janine urged me to restart the morphine.

I hesitated then looked at Anders and Robbins. "Are we done guys?"

"Yes, Sgt, thank you," Robbins replied and both Internal Affairs officers stood and left. God, I was glad that was over. I turned back to Janine. "When can I see them?"

"In the morning," she answered with a smile. "It's almost 7pm, so just press the button and try to get a good night's sleep. Call if you need anything else."

As badly as I wanted to see them, I knew I just wasn't in any shape right now and they probably needed their rest too. I took comfort in knowing that they were all right and finally activated the morphine attached to my IV. Within minutes all my pain faded away and I willingly followed it into a dreamless sleep.

Chapter 26

I've got to get out of here. And I mean sooner not later. Preferably before I go stark raving bananas – which seems like it could happen just anytime now. One person can take just so much pity and sympathy.

And questions.

The questions just never stop.

I can't keep retelling what happened or going on about what's next for me. No more. God, please, no more. I don't want to think about it anymore, but I'm lying here trapped in this damn bed. I'm totally at their mercy – family, friends, fellow officers, city officials, reporters, journalists.

Every waking minute it's like they're at me. So I try to sleep. Hell, sometimes I'm tempted to ask for a pain pill just as an escape. To get away from them. Them. Not the pain. Well, not the physical pain, anyway. That I can handle now.

But not having to relive that nightmare over and over and over –

"So, have you talked with DeeDee?"

I'm jolted out of my dark thoughts by Linda's question and hell, here we go again.

"No," I sighed, unable to mask how much it hurt to admit that. I hadn't seen her since I had awakened in this place. Only in my dreams. And sometimes those dreams became nightmares where I did lose her, or Olivia, or both of them.

"You haven't tried, have you Rick?"

I sighed again. I couldn't help it. "It's not right, Linda." God, I couldn't even look at her, sitting next to my bed in a wheelchair, about to be discharged. Her husband was taking her to their second home in Colorado to recuperate. I felt guilty all over again and I reached out to take her hand. "Linda –"

"Don't Rick," she interrupted me, correctly guessing what I wanted to say. "You've really got to let this go," she told me, her voice heavy with the compassion I could see in her eyes as well.

"I can't," I said gruffly. "You could have died, you know." See – when other people aren't asking questions, I'm reminding myself of it all. This was getting pathetic. I tried to pull my hand away but she wouldn't let go.

"Yes you can. And it starts when you stop using your guilt about getting me involved. So let me tell you this: yes, I was scared out of my mind. During the delivery, waiting for you to come back, coming face to face with that monster was terrifying, and getting shot hurts like a bitch –" She paused when I couldn't hide the grimace of pain at her words.

"Rick –"

Her voice was softer and I couldn't help but look up.

"It's over. You and I are getting better every day. We're okay –"

"Steve and Capt Cain are dead," I interrupted her. God this still hurts so badly.

"DeeDee is all right. She's going to get through losing her husband if only for her daughter's sake. Olivia is getting bigger every day. She's beautiful."

I smiled in spite of myself. Olivia.

Linda still had my hand and she gave a little jerk to get my attention. "We helped bring that baby into this world. What if we hadn't been there?"

I shook my head.

"Think about it, Rick. Everything happens for a reason. We have to get what's good out of what happened that's bad. Steve just left her out there –"

"Don't say it that way," I cut her off. "He's dead, Linda – he'll never see his baby girl. Capt Cain –" I felt my eyes well up.

"Rick, don't let their deaths be in vain. We can't bring them back, but we can honor them and give meaning to their deaths. Steve is gone – but DeeDee and Olivia aren't."

I swallowed hard.

Linda kept at me. "That's how I sleep at night. I don't blame you, Rick. I see what my purpose was and I'm grateful that you had the courage to bring me along. I'm proud of myself for the job that I did and yeah, I got shot, but I'm here now and you know what? That makes me pretty proud, too."

"Yeah, okay. I hear you," Maybe she was right, but this was going to take a little time for me.

We said our goodbyes, wished each other well and made promises to keep in better touch and then she was gone, leaving me alone with my thoughts. Mostly of DeeDee and Olivia.

What happens next?

I fell asleep trying to figure it out.


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 27

The next time I opened my eyes she was sitting in the chair at my bedside.

"DeeDee?" I breathed, hardly daring to believe that she was actually here and unable to stop myself from grinning broadly like a fool. God, she looked gorgeous; even in a simple, loose-fitting blouse with her long dark hair pulled back from her face.

"Hey," she said softly with a ghost of a smile. "How are you doing?"

"I'm good," I told her honestly, trying to pull myself to a more upright position and wincing with the discomfort it caused. "Still kinda sore, but I'll be going home soon – there's no infection and the doctors are happy." I gave a small shrug. "But how are you? How's the leg?" I couldn't see anything from my position in bed.

"Okay," she answered. "A little sore like you said, but I'm getting around." She didn't elaborate so I wasn't exactly sure the extent of the injury and how she was 'getting around'.

Conversation lagged after we addressed the superficial issue of our battle scars and my stomach was in knots just being here with her. While she looked down at her hands twisting nervously in her lap, I took a good look at her face, noticing dark circles and pale cheeks that make-up didn't quite hide. She had obviously lost more of the baby weight but her eyes seemed puffy like she'd been crying.

"There's going to be a memorial service for Steve. His parents and I just finished with all the arrangements and the doctor said he thought you'd be able to come if you – " her voice trailed away and she looked out the window, still unable to meet my gaze.

"I'll be there," I assured her.

She managed a weak smile and wiped her hands across her eyes. "Thank you." She took a deep breath. "I – I can't tell you how hard this has been."

(You don't have to,) I thought but didn't say. Instinct told me not to speak just yet. She looked too uncomfortable, too nervous and I wanted to give her a chance to say whatever it was that she was struggling to get out.

She kept her gaze focused on something outside the window. "Part of me is still so angry at Steve for how he handled that whole situation," she admitted, obviously ashamed and her voice dropped to a near whisper at the words she said that were causing her such pain.

I had been wallowing in guilt for so long that I hadn't taken a second to pull my own head out of my ass to think that she might have some guilt issues of her own to deal with. Part of me couldn't help but feel a little bit validated that I wasn't the only one a little angry at Steve. But then, he wasn't married to me and he hadn't left me with a new baby girl to raise.

I kept watching her; watching her hands writhe in her lap; watching two tears slide down her cheeks. "Hey," I spoke softly, trying to get her attention and then held my breath. Finally she let her eyes meet mine and for several minutes we just stared. I tried to convey my understanding to her – let her know that it was all right – she had nothing to be ashamed or guilty about. I just couldn't seem to get the words out, but the way her furrowed brow smoothed out, I think she might have gotten the message. One of her hands found mine and I squeezed it gently.

I wanted to change the subject, picking what I was most interested in and what I was pretty sure would bring a smile to her face and lighten the mood. "How's Olivia?"

She fought the smile valiantly, biting her lower lip, dropping her eyes, but it was a battle she couldn't win. She shook her head, huffed softly and let the smile take over her face. "Olivia – she's - she's just perfect."

The transformation was breathtaking and as she updated me on all things Olivia, I pasted a goofy grin on my face and nodded and just kept thinking how beautiful DeeDee was and how much I was in love with her.

Chapter 28

Steve's memorial service was a grief-filled, tear-jerking event that I would just as soon forget. The faces of everyone there, including mine were mirror images of the same shell-shocked, devastated expressions.

Except for one.

Precious little Olivia. A tiny angel of new hope dressed in pink and white in a sea of despair and loss wearing blacks, grays and police dress blues. She slept throughout it all, blissfully unknowing and unaware with an aura of purity surrounding her, keeping the gloom at bay. Alive. Seemingly the only truly living thing at this place to honor the death of her father. A man who had lost his life, leaving behind family, friends and co-workers.

Due to my injuries, I wasn't allowed to be a pallbearer, but I walked ahead of the coffin and delivered the eulogy. Standing stiffly at the podium, uncomfortable as hell in my formal uniform that did nothing to make my injuries any less painful, I stared out at the crowd. It was the first time I'd ever spoken at someone's funeral and trying to keep it together when everyone else, it seemed, was crying, had to be one of the emotionally taxing duties I'd had to perform. Then I thought about the events leading up to this day and realized that, truly, this wasn't nearly as incapacitating and without the threat of Lloyd Perry hanging over us, infinitely much safer.

As I stood up there, shaking and stuttering, I found that keeping my focus on little Olivia and her beautiful mother gave me the strength to make it through and at one point I caught DeeDee staring intently up at me, her dark eyes shining with unshed tears. She mouthed the words, "Thank you," at the end and I nodded slightly to show I understood.

We rode together to the grave site and I stood next to her during the twenty-one gun salute, helping to shield Olivia's ears from the loud noise. And then it was over. DeeDee's parents kept watch on one side of their daughter, while I planted myself at the other, with one arm protectively around her waist; discreet but meant to convey comfort and support. Steve's parents were on my other side and we all stood there, accepting condolences and well wishes from everyone attending.

When it became obvious that DeeDee wasn't going to last much longer, her face pale, her eye makeup smeared beyond repair, I announced our apologies and directed everyone else to Steve's parent's house. DeeDee was obviously exhausted, limping slightly to my concern and I knew I had to get her out of here.

Her parents rescued Olivia and said that they would get her settled so that DeeDee could finish up. Reluctantly she handed over the infant after a kiss and hug, murmuring words of love and we headed for the limo.

I frowned when she willingly took my arm and let me help her in the car and I wondered if she was just overly tired or if her leg wasn't healing properly. She scooted to the far side and curled up in a ball in the corner, slipping her shoes off and letting her head drop back against the window. Hoping she wouldn't mind, I gave the driver directions to my house and climbed in next to her. I figured she couldn't stay at her former house she had lived at with Steve and if she insisted on leaving later, I could drive her to her parent's house.

Deciding to forgo the ridiculous question "Are you okay?" - because it seemed to me that giving up Olivia to her parents depleted the last of her reserves and without her touchstone she was unable to muster her will to hide her pain. No more strong façade for others to be fooled by.

I located the mini bar and was grateful to find a small bottle of orange juice, popped it open and handed it to her.

"Thank you," she said softly, sipping slowly.

"You looked like you could use it," I said, staring at her intently.

Refusing to meet my eyes, she continued to drink. "Yeah." She sighed and then let her head fall back again.

Sitting next to her on the opposite end of the seat, I had to force myself to keep an appropriate distance. It was hard. She looked so lost, so sad. I wanted desperately to comfort and console her but didn't have a clue what would be appropriate here, alone after her husband's funeral.

I propped my elbow on the door and rubbed my forehead in an effort to get some divine answer to my questions. Out of the corner of my eye I caught her shivering and trying to hide it. My movements awkward, I managed to slip out of my jacket and spread it across her lap. "Do you want me to turn up the heater?" I asked in concern.

My question seemed to trigger her tears.

Quickly I took the empty bottle from her and set it aside and slid across to her side. Without stopping to second guess whether my actions were acceptable or not, I reached out and put my arm around her shoulders. Very carefully I pulled her towards me. She resisted only a second before allowing me to snuggle her close.

"I'm going to hurt you," she mumbled through her tears.

(Physically or emotionally?) I wondered briefly but did not say because she could never do either in my book.

"No, you're not. This is fine." Unable to resist the temptation, I tipped my head so that it rested on hers, placing a chaste kiss to the top of her head.

We stayed like that for several minutes until we arrived at my house. She looked around in surprise then looked up me, questioning me with her raised eyebrows.

"I thought you could use a break. I can take you wherever you need to go later, but I think some quiet time would be nice right now, don't you?" I tried to not to sound too hopeful.

She managed a smile as she bent down and put her shoes back on. "That sounds perfect, thanks." She started for the front door, and again I noticed how she was limping.

I tipped the driver and hurried to catch up with her as the limo drove off. "DeeDee – your leg -?" I inserted my key and opened the door, reaching back to take her arm and help her inside. She didn't answer me at first as I guided her to the couch.

"Just overdid it today," she said as she sank down on the end of the couch, and slipped her shoes back off. Not hesitating to think twice, I moved in and gently picked up her feet and pulled her around so she could lie across the cushions. She sighed happily. "Oh, thank you – this is great."

I stood over her, nervous, shifting my weight from one foot to the other. I had gotten her here with no real plan of what to say or do next. Kinda flying by the seat of my pants here. "Uh – would you like me to get you something to eat? Turn on the television?" Mentally I cringed. (God, I sound like some teenager or something.)

"Would you sit with me?" She asked almost shyly.

My eyes grew wide, but I nodded and made as if to sit down at her feet.

"How about at this end?" She lifted herself up to make a space for me to sit and when I did after a surprised moment, she reached over for a small throw pillow, put it in my lap and then lay back down on it. When I looked down at her, she was staring up at me.

"Feel up to talking?" She asked softly.

I gulped. "Uh, sure. About what?"

"About us." She answered bluntly. "I need to know if you meant what you said."

"What?" I said in shocked amazement. "What did I say? When?" (What was she talking about? When did I talk to her about 'us'? I didn't know there –was- an 'us'! Was there an 'us'?

"At the hospital," she told me. "That first night after you woke up. When I was in your room. You said you love me and I need to know if you meant it or were you delirious."

I stared down at her flabbergasted. I thought it had been a dream but here she was telling me that she had actually been at my bedside when I said all those things. I felt my face burn with embarrassment.

"You didn't mean for me to know, did you?" She said suddenly, looking away from me and misreading my embarrassment.

"Oh – God – no – I mean – yes – I did mean it – I – I just didn't realize I was actually talking to you. I – I thought I was dreaming! God – DeeDee, I meant every word, but it was so soon – I – I wanted to give you time – time after Steve's death – to – to get through all this." I was close to panicking and I hoped like hell she understood.

She stared back at me, scrutinizing me.

I gathered my courage. "I do love you, DeeDee." I took a deep breath. "I know this is not the right time. I was trying to give you some space, to make sure, but I was going to be here – to help in whatever way I could. You and Olivia – I love you both and I want to be part of your lives in whatever way makes you comfortable."

For several minutes neither of us said anything.

Chapter 29

"Rick, I don't know what to do right now. We both need healing – not just physically, but emotionally as well. So much has happened, so much has changed."

Nodding in understanding, I kept my eyes locked on her face but my left hand slipped off the back of the sofa and I tentatively placed it over her hands which she had clasped on her abdomen.

She stilled when she felt my touch and just as I was about to pull my hand away in disappointment, she took hold of it and clutched it like a lifeline.

"DeeDee?" I was confused. What was she trying to say? I looked at my hand in hers, nestled between her breasts. The feelings of longing and desire that coursed through me was a pleasurable distraction but one that I just couldn't afford right now. I had to be clear on where we were heading.

"Rick – before all of this – you were a friend. Steve's and mine. We had barbeques together, double-dated, went to movies, shared holidays or just hung out together – but we were friends, right?" she asked, anxious and earnest.

"Yeah – " I answered, drawing the word out slowly, still trying to figure out where this was going. My eyes traveled down the length of her body. Her skirt had hitched up to just below her knees and I could see the faded edge of a bruise on the left one.

At this point I was feeling more than a little nervous and almost desperate. I wanted her and Olivia to remain a part of my life but I didn't know how DeeDee was going to respond.

DeeDee went on, determination evident in her tone and demeanor. "Just because Steve is gone – I don't want to lose you as my friend."

Still clueless, I shook my head. "I would never stop being your friend, DeeDee. I would hope that you'd know that."

She gave me a small, wavering smile. "You said that you love me." She said it as though she didn't think I could be both a friend and be in love.

Again I felt my cheeks burn and my eyes closed – afraid to look at her, but I wasn't going to back down. "Yes – yes I do love you. I meant it – no matter how much morphine they pumped into me – I know that I have fallen in love with you. I can be your friend, too."

"Rick, I will be eternally grateful to you. You saved my life; you helped bring my baby girl into this world and saved her life as well."

My heart was pounding in my chest. (Here it comes,) I thought. (The big send off.) My stomach was in absolute knots as I prepared myself for a major disappointment.

"I can't just think about myself now. I have a daughter to consider. I want what's real. Not just the result of those events."

"I hear what you're saying," I assured her, nearly choking. "I do. But what we went through – it's over. It shattered our lives in a million pieces and as I'm picking up mine and putting them back together, I keep seeing you. You and Olivia and me. I can't change what's happened. All I know is what I feel now and what I feel is love."

"I love you, too, Rick."

It was so unexpected, I was sure that I hadn't heard correctly. "What?"

"I think I'm falling in love with you, too, but-" she paused, her hands moving around, twining her fingers through mine. "I have to be sure. For Olivia's sake."

Suddenly I felt as light as a butterfly. "DeeDee –" I was nearly laughing with joy. "I love Olivia! I'm just asking for a chance to show you."

"I know you do," DeeDee whispered. "This is just a little overwhelming - you know?"

I brought our hands up to kiss her fingertips lightly. "I know." I took a deep breath. "Let's just take it slow. See what happens. We're friends -"

"Good friends," she broke in with a smile.

"Great friends," I corrected, grinning.

We both smiled in relief. "Slow." DeeDee said, "Meaning what, exactly?"

I thought for a moment. "Well – let's start with Olivia and you needing a place to live that's not your old house and not your parents. Would you consider moving in with me?"

She gaped at me. "Here? Are you serious? That's what you call 'going slow'?"

"Sure, why not? It's got three bedrooms. No commitments – no romantic entanglements. You'll have your own room."

"For now?" she asked slyly, teasing me.

"Hey – I'll be ready when you are. Not before," I promised. "If it makes you feel better, I'll charge you rent."

She giggled softly and ducked her head. "No romantic entanglement, huh? What if there never is?"

"The ball's in your court, DeeDee. I'm a patient man and I'm not going to force or trick you into anything. I want to take care of you and Olivia."

"I can take care of her."

"I know you can. I don't doubt that for a minute, but why not give me a chance?"

"I don't want to hurt you," she said.

"You won't," I assured her. "The only way you can hurt me is by not letting me be a part of your lives. In whatever way makes you happy – I just want to be there for both of you."

"What would people say?" She dropped her eyes, her brow furrowed. It was sounding to me like she was running out of excuses. Maybe, just maybe, I had her.

"What people?"

"Olivia has two sets of grandparents already."

"DeeDee, don't go looking for trouble. We're not doing anything wrong or illicit. Steve's parents aren't going to be banned, but I'm sure that they understand Olivia's need for a father. They know me – they've known me longer than they've known you."

"You want to be Olivia's father?" She looked up at me and I fought the urge to kiss away her doubts.

"Yes, I do. Very much."

She didn't say a word, but simply pulled herself up and very carefully, hugged me as hard as she could. It didn't hurt a bit – the joy coursing through me was more potent than any drug on the market.

Chapter 30

It was on her first birthday that I learned that Olivia's middle name was Diane. I guess it must be some kind of "guy thing" that I hadn't wondered or asked about it before.

"I thought you already knew," DeeDee stated, sounding amazed and disbelieving as she juggled to keep Olivia's hands from the dirty plates she was taking to the sink.

I shrugged my shoulders and shook my head. "Nope. I never really thought about it. She's just been Olivia to me," I said, reaching over to stroke her downy soft curls.

"Men!" DeeDee said, rolling her eyes with exasperation and throwing up her hands only after handing me the baby. "Diane is to honor you!"

"What!" I jerked my head up to stare at her in confusion. "What does Diane have to do with me? It's not part of my name or anyone in my family."

DeeDee just smiled a knowing smile and shook her head again.

"What?" I repeated, perplexed.

She sighed as she came over to hug both of us. "You big lug – Diane is Latin – it means 'celestial hunter' according to the baby name book I read."

It took a moment for it to sink in and I finally understood. I was awed. "Wow." I was actually almost speechless. "That's just – wow." Staring down at Olivia Diane with her dark curls and pink lips that looked so much like her mother it took my breath away. "I love you."

"I love you, too, Rick. Now, more than ever." She looked around the room. "So, you still want us around?"

She said it flippantly and I reached out to cup her chin and make sure she was looking at me. "Now, more than ever," I replied firmly.

Her eyes welled with tears. "Good."

I bent down to kiss her and she responded eagerly. "Have you made up your mind?" I hesitated to ask, but I had to know.

She smiled through her tears and nodded. "Yeah – I have. I'm sure."

I stared at her closely, and then dropped my eyes down to Olivia who was reaching for my tie. I kissed her and brought my gaze back to her mother. "I won't let you down."

"I know you won't."

"I'll be the best father I can be," I vowed.

DeeDee brushed away her tears, smiling brightly. "I don't doubt it for a minute. That's the other reason I'm sure."

"I love you, DeeDee."

"I love you, too, Rick. I'm just sorry I made you wait."

I just shook my head. "I'd have waited forever."


End file.
